You Aren't a Fool...Are You?

Here's the "fight" between KG and Antonio McDyess as it was called on ESPN. The altercation itself is maybe 10 seconds, but I went ahead and included about two and a half minutes because I found it so entertaining.



Hard to say what I liked best about this video, but here are some highlights:

KG has mastered the NBA technique of backpedaling while waiting for a teammate to hold him back. Or maybe he's trying to make it back to his bunker where he keeps his Nines, Uzis, etc...

You can tell that Garnett's got an internal struggle about whether to throw a punch to build his rep, or to hold back and avoid a suspension. The end result is a motion that's a cross between a slap and a girl throwing a baseball.

Mark Jones, keeping it real by proclaiming that the players are, "bowing up on each other."

Mark Madsen. At first, he's playing dead on the court. Then he notices what's happening on the court and leaps up with a look of "How could KG not have known that I was flopping?"

Mark Jones again: "Not sure exactly how that all started. Or what the genesis of that was." He's also unsure of its origins, beginnings, progenitors, or its rudiment.

The PA system in Minnesota playing "Theme from a Summer Place" which, while perhaps intended to be soothing, immediately made me think of Animal House; and the scene in which the angel and devil pop up to dispense advice. Unfortunately, none of that sequence is fit for print, but anyone that has seen the movie should feel free to quote it in the comments section. I just wish one of the T-Wolves cheerleaders could have participated in the re-enactment.

The ESPN cameras and microphones catching KG saying, "That's bullsh*t. That's f*cking bullsh*t," immediately followed by Mark Jones saying, "Kevin Garnett telling Chauncey Billups right now, what McDyess did was straight up wrong."

A fan screaming out, "You're not in Indiana anymore!"

Finally, Mark Jones qualifying his remarks by saying, "I'm just reporting what I saw." Um..yeah, that's pretty much what the viewing audience is expecting from you. Does this mean that the rest of the time, you're just making stuff up as you go along?

..The end result was that both players were ejected; and I believe there's a mandatory one game suspension that goes with it. I might be wrong there, but even if it isn't mandatory, I'm sure David Stern will suspend them anyway. Slap fights are an embarassment to the league.

And if you're reading this from a location that blocks YouTube, here's a still photo that captures the essence of the altercation: