Saturday, March 18, 2006

Will Blog for Food


I'm writing this update from the lower east side homeless shelter, as sadly, I lost my house betting on Michigan State earlier today (seriously how did the Spartans get outrebounded 38-23?). On the bright side, this shelter has Wi-Fi access and a tv, so really my quality of life hasn't changed all that much.

As for the rest of the day in hoops...

Would all of the historic college basketball teams that barely survived first round upsets please step forward? Ah-Ah-Ah...Not so fast, Kansas. For the second year in a row, the Jayhawks were eliminated in their first game of the tournament. Last year it was by Bucknell, and this year Bradley had the honors. If in 2007, Kansas finds out that they're being paired up against Belmont or Butler, they might want to consider staying home...

Bradley, Bucknell, and Northwestern State all had big wins over Kansas, Arkansas, and Iowa respectively that will make their home state fans proud. Unfortunately until today, I had no clue where their home states were. It turns out that the Bradley Braves hail from Peoria, Illinois, the Bucknell Bison are from Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, and the Northwestern State Demons are from Natchitoches, Louisiana. I've never heard of Natchitoches, but I'm going to venture a guess that it's somewhere in the Northwest portion of the state. Iowa coach Steve Alford was so devastated by his team's early exit that he immediately climbed into his car and went for a long drive- right on down to Indiana where he made himself available for the Hoosiers' new job. It can't be a good sign when the coach that is being run out of town advances further in the tournament than the coach that's replacing him. Although I suppose anything is better than giving the reigns to Isaiah Thomas...

In another upset on Friday, Oral Roberts University actually has cheerleaders. Santa Maria, it's a miracle! I don't know if the cheer squad has its own nickname, but if not, I'd like to offer up The Little Oral Annies. It's my gift to you...nay, to the world...

I found myself on the road for part of the day where I was listening to some of the games on the radio. If any of the Westwood One radio announcers are reading this, could you please help me out and actually identify the teams that have the ball after shots? I know my fair share of college basketball, but not enough to have the entire rosters of Arkansas and Bucknell memorized. So if all you say is "rebound by Brown," I have no clue if that was an offensive or defensive rebound. So while I'm trying to visualize the game, I have to simultaneously picture an offensive rebound with a putback potential, and a defensive rebound and outlet pass. In order to do that, I have to close my eyes, which I was told by the state trooper isn't the best way to drive...

Back to tv, can the dude showering in the Old Spice commercial finally snap and say, "Of course it's Paige I'd sleep with. Damn, she's got such a hot lil' body. Heck, I only married you so I could hang out with Paige!"

Tomorrow's action may very well go to form, but there are a few possible upsets looming. Wichita State over Tennessee and Wisconsin-Milwaukee over Florida are very possible. Of course, I wouldn't bet on it. Not that I don't think they're good bets, but because I can't find a bookie that accepts food stamps.

1 Comments:

At Sun Mar 19, 05:51:00 PM PST , Anonymous jason said...

There are actually three possible responses by the Old Spice wife to the Paige answer:

a) Paige...even though she has webbed toes? You're not as superficial as I thought.

b) Paige? Didn't she go to poker night with you once? You two sure were out late...

c) I was hoping you'd say Paige. We've actually been talking and have this fun idea...

I say those are pretty good odds. And even if it does result in option B leading to three years of uncomfortable marraige and ultimate divorce, you'll have no problem finding a new women with the alluring musk of Old Spice body wash and shampoo.

 

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