All You Can Eat Wisdom

While I was wasting time helpless watching people chase and hit their flush draws on the river at Full Tilt Poker, my crack research team was busy reading the Sacramento Bee. Why would anyone bother reading the Sac Bee? Because every now and then, a reporter might trek out to the buffet at The Palms in Vegas and interview Ron Artest (registration required) while he dines on orange chicken, calamari, and matzo ball soup. Here are a few pieces of insight from Mr. Artest:

On his upcoming rap tour in Europe: "I didn't know that in Europe that all the countries connect. So we're driving to every country we're going to. That should be pretty cool."
Maybe they don't teach geography until your junior year at St. John's University.

On his time with Kings last season: "We had probably one of the best seasons in the history of the NBA, with how it turned out. Who ever had a turnaround like we did? I don't know. I don't think anybody. It might have been one of the best turnarounds. Besides the (New York) Knicks team that was the eight seed and won the (1999 Eastern Conference) championship.
It should be noted that one of the best seasons in the history of the NBA ended with a first round loss.

On new coach Eric Musselman: "I've seen him before. But when they said we got Musselman, I thought we got his father (Bill Musselman). I thought, oh cool, we got Musselman. I didn't know it was his son."
Bill Musselman died in 2000.

On what he's heard about coach Musselman: "I was at this place the other night, and this player (formerly) from Memphis (free-agent guard Antonio) Burks, he said, 'Man, you've got one of the best coaches in the league.' He said, 'Yo, Ron, you've got the best coach in the league.' I'm at a club, you know, and players don't say that. Players aren't going to come up to you and say that. I was like, Wow, that's neat. That's a big statement right there, coming from a player in a club."
Damn! He said it in a club? That's for real, yo!

On keeping Bonzi Wells with the team: "He called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I'm going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he's got to stay (with the Kings).
Coincidentally, this is the same thing he told his wife on their wedding day.

On whether he wants to play into his late 30s: "Nah. I can't wait to get home with my kids. My daughter will be like 15. My son will be older. I'm on the road so much now, I can't wait to be home, doing schoolwork with them and stuff."
You want to help me with my homework dad? No, really, I'm good.

He also compares himself to Donald Trump, refers to Elgin Baylor as "my boy," and has a fun exchange with Colleen Maloof, mother to Kings' owners Joe and Gavin Maloof. I get the feeling that Artest would be a fun guy to hang out with....well, at least up to the point where he threatens to kill you.