The Nightcap

Tonight's NightCap is brought to you by my last few airline bottles of GlenLivet 12, courtesy of Alaska Airlines= where unfortunately no amount of alcohol will convince you that their flight attendants are even remotely attractive...

Cedric Benson was carted off the field with a shoulder injury after being hit by Brian Urlacher and Mike Brown in practice. I'm really disappointed by this news- not because I have any affinity for the Bears, but rather because I had Aug 16th in my pool for the date that Benson would be carted off the practice field. I wish he'd at least waited until after my keeper fantasy league had its retention date so that I could have laughed at the owner who held on to Cedric. Benson will have X-rays tomorrow. While in the hospital, he can expect a call from Cedric Enis and Cade McNown thanking him for challenging their claim as the biggest Bear bust in recent history...

It wasn't the best day for UCLA alums. First, Chase Utley had his hitting streak end at 35 games. (By the way, I'm shocked that none of the major internet sports outlets used the headline, "The Chase is Over.") Then, Chris "Jesus" Ferguson was eliminated from the main event of the WSOP before reaching the money. But on the plus side for the alumni newsletter, Troy Glaus went deep again today, and Danica McKellar was vintage Winnie Cooper at the Hollywood Reporter's reception...

I know it's not sports related, but if Bill Simmons can link to youtube crap, then so can I. You've got to see this clip of Britney Spears in her home. Even people that actually live in trailers covered with windchimes are calling Britney white trash. But to try to make this remotely sports-related, if Britney does ever figure out that time travel thingy, could she please find a way to go back to the 2001 SuperBowl, and just stay that way? It was a much simpler, happier time.

Speaking of Bill Simmons, The Hater Nation does a great job in calling him out in Friday's "Weak Ender." Oh, and there's a freakin' smoking pic of an Eagles cheerleader too. You will not be disappointed...

Finally in late news, Floyd Landis' "B" test also showed to have an abnormally elevated testosterone to epitestosterone ratio, meaning that Landis will likely make history by being the first rider to be stripped of his title for drug related reasons in the history of the Tour de France. Of course, there's still the possibility that these results are all part of the well known worldwide conspiracy against cycling Mennonites. Landis is reported to be somewhere in the San Diego area, which is code for a Tijuana pharmacy. His lawyers say that Landis will be unavailable for comment until he can think of an excuse that is even remotely believable...