A Few Curious Days

After a full weekend of sports, my body is now composed primarily of pizza and beer, my eyes are glazed over from around the clock television, and I'm more exhausted now than when the weekend began. In other words, it was just like any other weekend at my house. But after watching 48 hours of sports, I'm left with more questions now than when the games began. Of course the biggest question on everyone's mind is:

Is Oregon the best team in the Pac-10?
Ok, Ok, maybe people will be focusing on football instead. But after winning at the McHale Center Sunday to follow up their victory over UCLA, I just wanted to mention that the Ducks are proving they're for real. At 16-1, Oregon is worthy of a top 10 ranking. Alright, now on to football.

Is Andy Reid aware that there are only 60 minutes in a football game?
His decision to punt on 4th and 15 with under two minutes to go and only two timeouts remaining is perhaps the most timid move in playoff history. Even if things had worked out perfectly according to plan, the Eagles were going to be looking at getting the ball with about 45 seconds left with no timeouts and needing 40 yards to get into field goal range. Is that really a better alternative than taking a chance on converting 4th and 15 to keep possession of the ball? I know Andy Reid must have felt uncomfortable going for it without having Freddie Mitchell on the roster, but it's still a chance that needed to be taken. Even Marty Schottenheimer thought Andy Reid was being too conservative. Speaking of which...

Who will be the Chargers head coach next season?
While it's difficult to point the finger squarely at Marty for the loss (more on this later), there's still little doubt that Schottenheimer is gone following yet another early exit from the playoffs. The logical choice to replace him would be offensive coordinator Cam Cameron, but since when does logic enter the equation in the NFL? I submit that the Chargers need a coach who can continue the rich Chargers tradition of falling short of expectations. They need a coach who can build up the hopes of fans early only to fail later in pressure situations. They need a coach who can handle defeat with both poise and stoicism. They need a coach who can spin losses as being positive, "learning experiences" to grow from. In short, they need Karl Dorrell.

Will LaDanian Tomlinson end up being the greatest franchise back ever to not play in a Super Bowl?
Maybe it's still too early, but given San Diego's recent performances, it's looking like a very definite possibility. Tomlinson did everything you can ask a back to do Sunday- he scored 2 TDs and set up the Chargers 3rd touchdown- but it still wasn't enough to secure the victory. He's the best back in the league, but he needs more help if he's going to get further in the playoffs. L.T. should give Eric Dickerson a call. The two would have a lot to talk about...if Dickerson could speak English, that is.
(Ok, maybe that honor should go to Barry Sanders. But for some reason, I've always viewed Sanders as more of a "highlight" back rather than a "franchise" back. And if that doesn't make sense now, just watch Reggie Bush's career over the next five years and it should become clear.)

Why is Philip Rivers' favorite receiver Eric Parker?
Better yet, how is Eric Parker even in the league? The Chargers made a ton of mistakes- two terrible personal fouls, a dropped interception, an interception that became a fumble, drops by Vincent Jackson, and a terrible, drive-killing lob pass by Philip Rivers as well as horrible clock management in the final drive- but in my view, the worst offender of them all was Eric Parker. On the first two drives, Parker had drops on passes in New England territory that cost the team an opportunity to make a statement early. Then, after fumbling a punt that he misjudged by a good yard, he lacked the sense to fall on the ball and preserve possession for his team. His failure to execute cost the Chargers a minimum of 10 points. Parker seemed overwhelmed by his surroundings, and I have to wonder if the Chargers would have been better off by incorporating veteran wideout Keenan McCardell into the gameplan.

Is this the year that Indy finally beats New England in the playoffs?
I want to say "yes," but history won't allow me to do so. Maybe after Bill Simmons writes his latest "Ode to Tom Brady's Testes," I'll pick the Colts out of spite. Get back to me later.

So which fan base is the most disappointed this Monday morning?
There are plenty of good candidates for this dubious honor. Chargers fans saw their team let an 8 point, 4th qtr lead slip away at home. Eagles fans know that their coach for the foreseeable future not only has a Fupa but a Mangina as well. USC fans actually decided to show up for one of their teams' basketball games, only to see a 10 point lead vanish into thin air. University of Miami fans realize that they're the only ACC school that can't beat Duke. And Seahawks fans...well, Seahawks fans are always complaining about something.

I'll give second place to Ravens fans- just because I failed to mention that game at all. So yeah, Ravens fans are sad. But they had to know their team was a pretender all along, right? Everyone else knew they were the AFC's version of the Bears (who were lucky that the Cowboys fell apart in Seattle, giving the Bears at least one playoff win), so expectations shouldn't have been that high in Baltimore.

But none of them can compare to the disappointment felt by Keeley Hazell fans upon viewing the Keeley sex tape that was leaked onto the internet (NSFW) this weekend. Talk about a wasted opportunity. Here's a tip to any guy who's setting up a video camera to record a sexual encounter with one of the most beautiful women on the planet: Once the action begins, have a little awareness as to where the camera is positioned so that the viewer can see something other than your shaved ass moving back and forth. Is that really so much to ask, dammit?!