Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Tim Tebow Has Never Been Happier Than We Had a Filipino Boy's Penis In His Hands

Most college students spend their spring break in beach cities, drinking, partying, and having pictures taken that will eventually resurface on the internet. Florida QB Tim Tebow is not your ordinary college student. He spent his spring break touring impoverished villages in the Philippines as part of his family's "Gain Salvation, Lose Your Foreskin" missionary work.

More than 250 people underwent medical and dental procedures, some of them from "Dr. Tebow," who has no formal surgical training.

"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them."...

Tebow helped with the last few circumcisions, growing more comfortable with each one.

"I got a kick watching him," Bob Tebow said. "He did a great job, and he didn't look really nervous. I wouldn't let him cut on me, but he did well and helped where there was a need."

I wouldn't let him cut on me...but some poor, foreign kids? Why the hell not? I'm a little disappointed that Tebow even had to use a scalpel. I would have thought that the Heisman winner would have only needed to scowl at the penises and the foreskin would have leapt off in fright.

Making the boys more presentable for future work in porn wasn't the only task at hand for the mission. After locals heard a brief Christian sermon, they were given a physical, had any cysts or rotten teeth removed, and were given needed much medical supplies. The demand for their services was so great that the mission had to turn away roughly 50 people at sundown. By the end of the day, most villagers returned home a little healthier, not quite as heatheny, and just little less sheathed than when they arrived.

Just another remarkable performance for the growing legend that is Tim Tebow.

(H/T: Wizard of Odds)

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At Wed Mar 10, 01:50:00 AM PST , Blogger friskypanda said...

How the hell does one get "comfortable" slicing the MOST SENSITIVE area of a BABY while listening to his WAILS for MERCY?!!!

Worse yet, how does a father - much less 1 who preaches God's love - get "a kick watching" his son MUTILATE a BABY'S GENITALS??!!!

The whole freakin family is SICK!!!

At Sun Apr 04, 06:15:00 AM PDT , Blogger ggl_6 said...

dude, every male in the philippines is circumsized. There is a cultural stigma if you are not circumsized. Aparently, some folks took advantage of the free mobile hospital to get their boys a free "snip". It just so happened tebow was there to help out. When he commented about "people needing surguries" he probably meant folks with cysts or needing dental work ("his job was to preach to the hundreds of people before they had teeth pulled or cysts removed" -- http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2008-05-05/sports/tebow05_1_tim-tebow-philippines-general-santos-city ") It's frightening for the USA when you have such ignorant and stupid fools taking so many things out of context and bash a great human being like tebow, he should serve as an great example for all you americans, too bad he is the exception and not the rule, no wonder so many people around the world hate americans, what a shame for you. Supot!

At Sat Apr 10, 10:46:00 PM PDT , Blogger friskypanda said...

No matter what the situation in Philippines is, Tim Tebow had no business performing any type of medical procedure on anyone b/c of the standards of the country in which he's a citizen!!

ggl6, you have your f*cking nerve talking about ignorant, stupid fools taking things out of context!! My comment was about the actual pain Tebow caused on the boys he hacked, not snipped!! Anyone who inflicts such intense pain on a defenseless, innocent baby deserves my contempt, not my praise!!! And, because he genitally mutilated those boys - irregardless of the customs - I will loathe him, not honor him!!!

At Fri Nov 18, 05:51:00 AM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tebow was coached just like any student here in the U.S. Frisky is just a Tebow hater. Put aside your hate and you can appreciate a man that is out there trying to help those in need. People would call him names if they saw him ate a club. Evil hates good and thats the way it is. I don't care what school a football player comes from. we need more decent players as we got plenty of hard core party men out there.


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