'Skiing is partying, partying is skiing'

I tried to watch the olympics last night, but then as I was flipping channels during a commercial, I noticed that the 1991 classic Ski School was on cable. So while men in tights were skating in a large circle against a clock on NBC, women were taking their tights off on a ski slope on TMC. Ski School also had more drama, as Johnny had to ski The Dome to try to save the mountain for the partygoers. But in-between nude scenes and bad jokes, I was able to catch a little bit of the games. A quick recap:

Chad Hedrick won the gold in the men's 5000m speed skating event. Afterwards, he told Melissa Stark that he credited his dead grandmother for watching over him as he skated. Minutes later, olympians everywhere were using their collection of $10 birthday checks to order hits on their grandmothers...

Norwegian Kari Traa (pictured) won the silver in the women's moguls. Kari Traa is my favorite athlete of the games thus far. Not just because she's hot, but also because she told a reporter, "Beer is healthy. It has lots of B vitamins." Sadly, this is her last olympic games. Maybe she can open a ski school...

UCLA alum Michelle Kwan had to pull out of the games. She said it was because of injury, but I have my suspicions that she was just growing tired of Scott Hamilton stalking her. While I know NBC will never do this, hopefully the focus will shift on who is competing, Sasha Cohen, rather than who isn't there...

In other news, Pac-10 referees called the UCLA/Washington matchup with the tenacity of a chaperone at a junior high dance. All touching was strictly ferboten. In a game with 53 total personal fouls, free throw shooting was the difference. UCLA was 19-29 (65%). Washington went 28-34 (82%) and held on to win, 70-67.

As I type this, Canada is beating Russia 12-0 in women's hockey on CNBC. Defensewoman Carla MacLeod scored the 12th goal for the Canadian team which was meaningless for everyone except those who were using Rick Tocchet's line of Canada -11...