Talkin' Beisbol.

According to his agent, it appears that Sammy Sosa is headed for retirement. No comment has been made by Sosa himself, as he has apparently now forgotten how to speak Spanish as well as English. Slammin' Sammy is now Silent Sammy. The man, who along with McGwire and Ripken helped "save the game" in 1998, now prefers to fade off quietly into that good night and take his .221 batting average with him. It will be interesting to see what Sosa's final legacy is. Will he be remembered as the only player to have three 60+ home run seasons, or will he be remembered as the guy whose bat exploded with cork, flipped out when Rick Riley challenged him to pee in a cup, and then lost his mojo as soon as major league baseball began stringent steroid testing? You can probably guess where I fall on this one. With Sosa, McGwire and Palmeiro now out of the game, that leaves Barry Bonds as the last remaining high-profile juiced (allegedly) record-holding player.

We should get an up-close and personal view of Bonds' 2006 season, as ESPN will be following Barry around all year for an installment of its documentary, "The Season." It should make for some riveting televison: Here's Barry hanging out in his Bel Air house with some actors he hired to be his friends. Here's Barry getting his hats resized. Here's Barry in the flaxseed section of GNC. Good times for all. This is also fantastic news for Nikolai Bonds, as the only time he ever gets to see his dad is when pops needs his son as a prop for the tv cameras. Possible jerseys in which we'll see Nikolai adorned this year include: (most likely) Gale Sayers, Earl Campbell, Willie Mays; (least likely) Babe Ruth, Jason Giambi, Jeff Kent....

In other baseball news, the Angels signed Jeff Weaver to a one year contract worth a guaranteed $8.3 million with another $600,000 in possible incentives. The incentives are for starts and innings pitched. A more appropriate incentive for Weaver would have been something along the lines of: give up fewer than 3 runs in an inning afer a teammate makes an error- 50k; refuse to blame the umpire's strike zone for a loss- 100k. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when a "performance" bonus can be achieved merely by participating in the game, regardless of productivity. Being able to throw a 90 mph fastball has become the equivalent of being 6'10" in basketball- no matter what else you can or can't do, someone will always be willing to pay for your services...


Finally, while the Mets may have lost Anna Benson, they have found a very suitable replacement in Melissa Lima.
(Note: further research indicates that Jose Lima and Melissa have divorced. I guess some wives get bent out of shape when their husband gives another woman herpes. Regardless, the pic stays!)