Friday, May 09, 2008

Jesus Thinks It Would Be Best If Larry Miller Didn't Watch His Jazz Get Swept

This Sunday at 12:30 pst, the Utah Jazz will host the Los Angeles Lakers in the fourth, and quite possibly last, game of their series. During that time, Jazz owner and Latter Day Saint Larry Miller and I will have something in common. Neither of us will be watching the game. Larry Miller won't be in his courtside seat because he will be out on the road contemplating his spirituality, whereas I will be out having brunch with my mother in-law. Advantage: Miller.

This development is nothing new, (although it has been a few years since it's been an issue) as Miller has chosen for quite some time not to attend home playoff games on Sundays, believing that non-spiritual activities should be avoided that day. If that's how Miller believes he should honor his faith, then that's fine. We live in a society where we're free to follow the teachings of Joseph Smith, L. Ron Hubbard, Jesus, or anyone else who had a way with words. (And if I published blog posts more often, perhaps I'd have a few followers of my own.) I just wish that if Larry Miller really believed in not performing non-spiritual activities on Sundays, that he went all the way through with it. While he might not be attending the game, as an owner, he is still conducting business and profiting on the Lord's day.

If Larry Miller were really committed to his religion, then game tickets on Sundays should be free and beer should be sold at cost. That's some spiritual enlightenment that everyone can support. Well, except for any Mormons in attendance who couldn't actually drink the beer. In their consideration, root beer will be a quarter.

Also, I'd advise Larry Miller to avoid attending game 3 tonight too. Sure it's a Friday night, but if he felt compelled to ban Brokeback Mountain from his movie theaters because its content offended his religious sensibilities, then he's really going to be offended by what he sees on the court tonight. If the first two games of this series are any indicator, then Kobe Bryant is going to treat Matt Harpring like a starstruck room service attendant who stays for an extra tip. I've never actually read the Book of Mormon, but I'm pretty sure it says somewhere in the Book of Nephi that thou shalt not enter heaven through the back door. Or something like that.

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