Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Excuse Pete Carroll While He Slips Into Something A Little More Comfortable

In a move that had been rumored for many months, Pete Carroll and Rick Neuheisel have come to an agreement which will allow both teams to wear their home jerseys in their rivalry game this Saturday. The change in attire will honor the days when both the Bruins and Trojans shared the Los Angeles Coliseum and also will allow USC to further embrace their rich heritage:

Rick Neuheisel has also suggested that as long as the two teams are honoring their traditions, they should go all the way back to beginning of the rivalry and have both teams lineup in the single wing formation all game. In fact, Neuheisel has promised not to allow Kevin Craft to throw a single pass if Carroll will do the same with Mark Sanchez.

It was originally feared that the teams would not be able to restore the jersey tradition because NCAA rules mandated that the offending team be charged with two timeouts during the course of the game. But in a last minute decision, the NCAA capitulated to one of its cash cows storied institutions and minimized the penalty to only one first half timeout. However in an effort to not appear biased towards USC, the NCAA has enacted another new rule whereby any interception thrown by Kevin Craft that is not returned for a touchdown will instead be ruled as an incompletion.

In other college football news, Oregon coach Mike Bellotti has named Chip Kelly the head coach in-waiting, but has yet to set a date for when that might be. Kelly now joins Jimbo Fisher at Florida State and Will Muschamp at Texas as the coaching equivalent of a mistress who stays with a married man because he tells her that he's going to break it off eventually. He just needs to wait for the right moment. These things take time, baby. Meanwhile, they don't get any younger, their wrinkles start to show, and their desirability to other suitors begins to wane. So they better hope this gig works out, because there might not be time for any others (certainly not for Fisher).

This Thursday, the Raiders-Chargers game will be televised in 3-D in select theaters in Los Angeles, New York, and Boston. 3ality Digital feels this game will be a great opportunity to showcase their new technology; and as an added bonus, they are able to reduce costs as this game will not require them to put any cameras in the endzone.

I'm no marketing major, but my feeling is the best way to make sure the 3D experiment is a success would be to make sure there are some cameras on the San Diego sidelines to capture all the dimensions of:

But if viewers in an Imax theater end up seeing Norv Turner's facial craters or Al Davis' animated skeleton in 3D, then 3ality Digital is going to need a GM sized bailout by the end of the game.

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman has suspended Sean Avery indefinitely for referring to this puck bunny:

as "sloppy seconds." Bettman had to invoke the suspension for the good of the game, as Cuthbert is the only fan the league had left. Bettman will meet Avery soon to discuss the duration of the suspension and to make certain that Avery is aware that this particular term will not be tolerated and should instead be replaced by, "a drop pass into the crease," "a rebound through the five-hole," or simply "bacon scraps."

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