Sunday, July 20, 2008

LPGA Milks Michelle Wie, Kills Santa

And like a good neighbor, State Farm is....hey, where'd ya go???

Michelle Wie shot a 65 at the State Farm Classic Friday and for whatever reason- excitement over being tied for the lead, requests for various interviews, or just unaccustomed to actually making it through two days of a tournament- she walked outside of the scorer's tent without signing her scorecard. Fortunately, a volunteer noticed the oversight and called Wie back to the tent where she then signed her card, which was unmodified and correct. Problem solved, right? Well...not exactly.

If there's one thing that golfing bodies like more than keeping black folks out of their country clubs, it's creating and enforcing obscure minutiae within their rules. As such, the USGA was quick to pounce on Wie's stroll outside of the scorer's tent and disqualify her from the event for violation of rule 6-6b. Actually, "quick" isn't the best choice of words. Although the LPGA was intent on disqualifying Wie, they did allow her to play the entire 3rd round, since it was being aired on ESPN and she was the only ratings draw for the tournament. Once the round was completed, and ESPN was given the opportunity to air one final Michelle Wie montage, tournament director Sue Witters went forth with her decision to DQ Wie:

"I felt like I was telling somebody that there was no Santa Claus
," Witters said.

...upon which a dozen 6 year old girls waiting for Wie's autograph fled in tears. For the record, when Santa stopped visiting me, the most I lost out on was a few action figures and maybe a jersey. Wie was vying for a quarter million dollars.

I realize it's not in the USGA/LPGA's nature to bend the rules or have any sense of reason, but I have to wonder why they are enforcing one rule while ignoring a far more fundamental violation in the same tournament. Now that Wie has been eliminated, the LPGA should focus on current leader Yani Tseng. For those unfamiliar with Tseng, here is a recent picture of the Taiwanese player:

That's a 16 year-old boy, right? C'mon Yani- even the laziest Taiwanese tranny waxes his lip before a night on the town. Why is the LPGA allowing him to play? Seems like arbitrary rule enforcement to me. Also, has Disney already made a movie about a boy who dresses up like a girl to win a golf tournament? If not, does anyone want to help me write a treatment? If we get one of the Jonas Brothers to star in it, we'll make a fortune!

It has to be disappointing for Wie not to have the opportunity to complete what might have been a milestone victory for her. There is at least one silver lining, however. By being disqualified, the LPGA saved her from a possible collapse on her final day, which is a nice change of pace for her. And even tho she didn't get the victory, she can always say she should have won if not for a stupid rule. And I do mean always. Heck, just take a lesson from Raiders fans- how many years has it been since the "tuck rule" and it's still all you hear from them. Well, other than "I plead not guilty, your honor."

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