Sunday, December 18, 2005

Full Court Press

I was just wrapping up a thorough, moderately insightful breakdown of all the college hoops action from Saturday; and just a few seconds before I was to post it, the power went out on my block. Now all is lost, it's 5:45 am, and I don't feel like typing sh*t. So, I instead present an ADD version of the day in college basketball:

Tennessee 95, Texas 78. I guess last week's blowout at the hands of Duke wasn't a demonstration of how good Duke is, but rather exposed how overrated the Longhorns are. Daniel Gibson's concussion wasn't just bad, it was Troy Aikman bad. Could be a long, fuzzy season for him.

Kentucky 73, Louisville 61. Good time for the Wildcats to turn things around, since the game was being watched by the 2nd largest crowd ever at Rupp arena. They might have been able to draw the largest crowd in history if they'd removed the Adolph Rupp quote, "No Darkies" from the arena entrance.

UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Darren Collison is Cameron Dollar reincarnate, only with a better shooting touch. If I don't see Arron Afflalo's name on ESPN's next NBA draft preview, I'm cancelling my Insider subscription. What the hell is "Maize Rage?" Have you ever heard of someone getting so mad that they turn yellow? I know it's been awhile since Michigan fans have had something to cheer about at Crisler Arena, but you guys can do better than Maize Rage. That self-proclaimed monikor is so bad, Dick Vitale described it as "That's Ok" during the broadcast, which on his enthusiasm scale is about the same as a normal announcer pulling down his pants and taking a dump on the scorer's table. Well, I guess that wouldn't be so normal, but you get the point.

New Mexico 68, Oregon 61. You want to play in The Pit, Ducks? We'll show you what the real Pit is like. Oregon didn't travel with their cheerleaders and the basketball gods smote them for their transgression. The referees for this game were under the impression that everyone was tuning in to see them last night. Unfortunately the game was only on ESPN Gameplan, so maybe a dozen people saw the game.

Virginia Tech 59, Stanford 52. Everyone in the country- UC Irvine, UC Davis, Montana, and the Hokies- is taking their turn peeing on the tree. Sadly, UCLA will still find a way to lose by 40 to them.

Gonzaga 80, Virginia 69. I know that the Zags are the annual feel-good team, and it's nice for white fans to be able to root for a guy like Adam Morrison instead of the endless parade of pricks (Redick, Hurley, Laettner, Ferry) they roll out at Duke. Yes, Gonzaga is a solid team. But I have a feeling that they've already peaked while most of the other top teams are just beginning to find their rhythm and will continue to get stronger as the year goes on. So come March when you're filling out your brackets, nobody get crazy and advance Gonzaga into your final 4 or anything.


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