I'm Not So Sure I Didn't Just Lose All of My Bets.

So, the only way I could lose my bet today was for the Jags to score a garbage time TD along with the two point conversion. So how surprised was I when that's exactly what happened? None. Not even one bit. I knew I'd used up my karma in last week's games. Today was some payback for the sportsbooks...

There weren't really any great moments in the Indy/Jax game, but there was a great moment amongst Dan Dierdorf's calls. He is the master of the double negative. There was this one after Peyton Manning tripped and fell during his 5 step drop:
Peyton Manning didn't just get up a little gingerly (actually he did). I'm not so sure that Peyton Manning didn't hurt himself.
Classic.

Not quite as memorable, but still noteworthy was this imagery:
Rashean Mathis bites on the double move. And I mean bites. If he was a bass, he'd be mounted on the wall.

You've got to love the commercials announcing the arrival of Dukes of Hazard on DVD. The ad basically says, "Look, we know the movie totally sucked, but check out these scenes with Jessica Simpson in a bikini...and it's in slow motion!" Sadly, that will probably be enough for me to put it on my Christmas list.

In the immortal words of Rosie Perez in White Man Can't Jump, "Sometimes when you win, you actually lose. And sometimes when you lose you actually win." That seemed to be the theme for the Texans/Titans matchup, as both teams vied for a chance at calling Reggie Bush's name in the draft. Each team kept trying to give the game away, culminating with Adam "Pacman" Jones getting a facemask personal foul with no time left on the clock, allowing the Texans an easy opportunity at a game-tying field goal. But Kris Brown refused to let the city of Houston down. He aimed for the pylon, and hooked it deep into the left corner of the endzone. It was such a big hook, I expected Rashean Mathis to come up flapping his tail at the end of it.

This sets up what should be a classic week 17 showdown between the Texans and Niners in the Bush bowl. Don't be surprised if each team's QB just runs backwards into the endzone on each snap. The Niners will win the game 114-112 when Alex Smith, "driving" to give Houston the tying score, trips at his own two as time expires.

It's definitely nervous time for Niners fans. Here are today's numbers for their franchise QB: 9/22, 77 yards, 1 Int. That's Leaf-esque (tho admittedly Ryan Leaf would have been able to get a few more INTs with 22 attempts). In 4 starts, Alex Smith has no TDs and 9 Ints. Note to the Niners brass: next time you're looking for a QB, you might want to go with a guy that actually has experience taking snaps under center. Just a thought.

I'm still pulling for the Chargers to squeak into the playoffs, but if you lose to the Dolphins at home this late in the season, you really don't deserve a playoff berth. As an aside, has any coach ever been elevated to "genius" status faster than Nick Saban? At least Brian Billick won a Super Bowl before he was handed the title. Shouldn't we at least wait for the team to crack the .500 barrier before we start molding his bust for the hall of fame?

Cowboys steal a game against the Chiefs. No doubt they were rewarded for the Santa's helper outfits the Cowboys' cheerleaders were wearing.

QBs I expect to get yanked in the next week or two: Marques Tuiasosopo (for Andrew Walter), Kyle Orton (for Rex Grossman), Steve McNair (for Billy Volek).

Gamblers Anonymous has now reduced their standard questionairre to one simple question. If you bet on or even just watched the Lions/Packers game, then you are in serious need of help.