Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Mysterious Ways

In a recent interview, TE Kellen Winslow Jr. rationalized his bust of a career thus far by saying, "God put me in this place for a reason."

Despite some claims that I made after 72 hours in Vegas, it turns out that I am not God. But if I were God, I'd probably put athletes in places like after school programs for local underprivileged kids. Or perhaps I'd use some divine intervention to make sure they always had a condom in their wallets during road trips. But I suppose there's a far greater master plan than I'm aware of. That's why for some reason, God chose instead to put Kellen Winslow on a motorcycle and started doing wheelies.

Maybe the reason is that God hates Browns fans? It certainly would explain the Earnest Byner fumble, Bill Belichick being mediocre as their coach, and Art Modell moving the team a few years before the team was Super Bowl bound.

It's just a theory.


At Wed Jun 21, 08:06:00 AM PDT , Anonymous jetsgrumbler said...

looks like you reached your limit with god loves sports at the same time i did. condoms in wallets on road trips certainly would be divine intervention. they should pass them out on team flights with peanuts and soda.


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