Friday, June 09, 2006


Tonight's nightcap is brought to you by Shiner Bock. Because cheap beer has feelings too.

-The Mighty MJD has a dead-on analysis of game 1 of the NBA Finals. Miami fans should be very concerned that their team effectively shut down Dirk Nowitski and Josh Howard, slowed the tempo of the game, and yet the Heat still lost by 10. Terrell Owens, by the way, need only be half concerned.

-I'm sure leading up to the game, both coaches were telling their team that they would have to play hungry. That message certainly made its way to the Dallas Mavericks cheerleaders locker room as those dancers looked like they hadn't eaten in a week. Ladies, I appreciate the dedication, but it is ok to mix in a cheeseburger from time to time.

-A few weeks ago, I decided to wait until football season before investing in an HDTV. After seeing Hubie Brown in the pregame show, that looks like one of the smartest decisions I've ever made. (I feel like I'm stealing this joke. If so, I apologize. However tonight, I was genuinely frightened by the talking skeleton that goes by the name Hubie.)

-The Portland Trailblazers appear to be coming up for sale in the near future. The estimated value of the franchise and the arena is approximately $300 million. Having failed in my previous bid to buy the Atlanta Braves, I'm now going to focus on the Trailblazers. I only need roughly 15 billion GoogleAd clicks and the team is mine. My first act as owner? Find a doctor that can diagnose my entire squad as having glaucoma so the next time they're caught with marijuana, it will be medicinal.

-The NCAA will no longer accept transcripts from so called "diploma mills," such as University High School in Miami, which promises students an opportunity to earn a diploma in a few weeks. Uni High is just like any other high school, although it does lack a few of the amenities of a traditional school- such as classrooms, instructors, or supervisors. Upon hearing this news, Larry Coker, Bobby Bowden, and Urban Meyer immediately began transferring their recruits to the more reputable Escuela Para Jugadores in Guadalajara.

-Scheduling note: I'm heading out to Vegas this Friday night. As a result, updates may be a bit sparse this weekend. But I do know better than to leave a hooker alone in my room, so I will have a little bit of time for a posting or two while the ladies gather their things. (And if my wife is reading this- of course it's just a joke. No really, it is.) I wonder what the odds are that I'll run into Charles Barkley at a club this weekend? I'm saying even money. Wish me luck. Hopefully I'll win enough to cover my server fees, and then you won't have to read about me whining about the fact that noone ever bothers to click a link when they stop by. Hey, one can dream, can't they?


At Thu May 03, 11:37:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shiner Bock is hardly cheap beer.

At Fri May 04, 12:08:00 AM PDT , Blogger insomniac said...

Hey, I love Shiner. But it's usually less than a buck a bottle at my neighborhood store, for which I'm very grateful.


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