Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Is Jason Sure He Was Using it Correctly?

Jason Grimsley was arrested recently by federal investigators while receiving a shipment on his back porch which contained Human Growth Hormone from an unnamed source. Once apprehended by agents, Grimsley appears to have broken 'the code' in order to save 'the ass' and proceeded to list anyone who's ever taken a steroid, amphetamine, or venti latte. This affidavit (registration required) is filled with names of alleged steroid/HGH users; however all of the names within the document are blacked out. Until the time comes when the actual names are "leaked," this document will at least provide a nice template for a MLB version of Mad-Libs that will allow you to draw your own conclusions.

Here's an example:

Q: Grimsley stated that _____, a former employee of the __________ and personal fitness trainer to several Major League Baseball players, once referred him to an amphetamine source. Grimsley stated that after this referral, he secured amphetamines, anabolic steroids, and human growth hormone from _______ referred source.

Although Grimsley has never referred anyone to the source he got from _______, Grimsley stated that he is sure that "boatloads" of players in baseball use this same source.
A: Greg Anderson, San Francisco Giants, ?, BALCO.

...or, if you're a Bonds' apologist, you could say the answer is: "the tooth fairy", "lollipop guild", "hallucinated", "Willy Wonka."

Fun for kids of all ages.


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