NBA Action

Sexual assault charges against Kwame Brown were dropped today after prosecuters learned that "a medical exam of the victim was reviewed and revealed no signs of forcible sexual assault."

For once, having really small, um, appendages is working out to Kwame's benefit.

In a related story, there's this excerpt from a notebook in azcentral.com:

Besides providing security, NBA bodyguards have taken on additional roles in the wake of Kobe Bryant's sexual assault case.

According to a GQ story on NBA groupies, some players are asking friends or bodyguards to stand in and watch any bedroom activities that might take place on the road.

That way, should an accusation surface, a witness can help sort out the truth. For the players, writer Lisa DePaulo points out, this "isn't just kinky, it's smart business."

As for which men the groupies most adore? They prefer the bad boys, the Allen Iverson and Rasheed Wallace types.

"We like a guy who's hard on the court," one groupie said. "I never hear women oohing and ahhing over Kobe, because he's a punk. He's soft."

Dwyane Wade?

"A cutie, but not all women are turned on by the Christian thing."

No, why settle for the Christian thing when you can screw Zach Randolph in a hotel room while Ha Seung Jin watches from a dark corner, standing motionless and smoking a cigarette?