Too Many Games, Too Few TVs

I sent my "Sports Gal" out for hot wings last night, and she never came back. I guess she feels I was watching a lil too much football this weekend. (I think the TCU-Baylor game was the last straw.) But she'll be back. Dancing with the Stars premieres in a week, and I'm sure she wouldn't want me to accidentally remove it from our Tivo Season Pass. Oh well, I'll worry about that later. For now, here are my reactions to the first weekend of college football:

-More embarassing than the 1-3 record I posted in my picks this weekend is the fact that it didn't occur to me until the BYU/Arizona game that the real impact of this season's new rules changes was that betting the "under" on point totals was a goldmine. Week 1 was a real opportunity for gamblers to build their bankroll by watching that clock run with no opportunity for points to be scored. Unfortunately, I expect sportsbooks to adjust by next weekend. I do apologize for missing that one. Congrats if you were able to connect the dots faster than I was. You're a smarter bettor than me. But I'm sure you knew that already...

-I'd like to send out a personal note of thanks to FSU alum Jenn Sterger. Not for the comforting reassurance in her SI advice column about my inner dork, but rather for the trend she started by wearing a bikini with her slutty friends to FSU home games. Now every coed with a halfway decent body is showing up to football games exposing as much skin as possible with the hopes of being discovered for a few minutes of fame. So, thank you, Jenn. You may be played out, but you truly are a pioneer...

-Calvin Johnson looked pretty much unstoppable. Barring injury, he's bound to be the first WR taken in the 2007 draft. I haven't a seen a wide receiver dominate a Notre Dame defense like that since Charles Rogers with Michigan State. Make sure you get a nice signing bonus, Calvin!

-I sure hope Louisville can get a refund whatever deposits they put down for any 'Michael Bush for Heisman' billboards that they were planning on putting up. With Bush out for the year, it's becoming increasingly likely that West Virginia will run up an undefeated season and make it to the BCS Championship Game...where they'll be routed by three touchdowns by either Ohio State, Texas, or USC. Given the Betty Crocker-like quality of WVA's schedule, the only real thing stopping the Mountaineers from an undefeated season would be if half their team gets arrested over the course of the season. So really, the odds are 50-50 of a title run...

-Just when I thought I was finally free of Paul Maguire, ESPN somehow found space for him in a college football booth. In case you were wondering if his ability to bring zero insight into the game translated to the college booth, his pregame key for the Cal Bears' defense was "Don't give up big plays." Thanks, Paul. Really helpful...

-I don't who was the bigger idiot in the Cal/Tennessee game. Paul Maguire for...well anything that came out of his mouth, or me for actually believing that Cal was a legit top 10 team this season. Way to represent the Pac-10, Bears...

-One of the things that makes me prefer the college game over the NFL is that in college, defenses are still allowed to hit the quarterback. Unless, of course, that quarterback is Brady Quinn...

-USC's offense took all of one quarter to find itself. But for that one quarter, it sure was nice thinking that the Pac 10 might be wide open this year. Three quarters and 47 points later, it became clear that the Trojans are still the team to beat. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted...

-One UCLA note: going into the season, I thought the running game was going to have to carry the offense until Ben Olson shook the rust off from a long layoff. After one game, it looks like I had that backwards. The running game looked horrible, but Ben Olson looks like a bona fide star in the making. Granted this is a premature overreaction to one game against a Mountain West team, but 2007 might be the year for UCLA to start their own Heisman campaign. Maybe they can use some of that Onepeat money to put up their own billboard.

-Ok, two UCLA notes: Not to go all Joe Theismann on ya, but I really like the job new defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker did against Utah. Unlike previous UCLA coordinators, he wasn't completely predictable in any situation. Instead they actually varied the blitz packages and coverages on passing downs. I know that sounds like an obvious thing to do, but for a UCLA fan, it's a breath of fresh air. Walker obviously brought some defensive prowess with him from the Washington Redskins, where he was their secondary coach. Now he's got the Bruins playing Redskins-style defense. With just a little more study, cornerbacks should be spitting in the faces of the opposition in no time:



Obviously spitting is a stupid thing to do, but the "U" could use some of that Sean Taylor, 7th floor fire tonight when they matchup against Florida State. The books have the Hurricanes as a 3.5 point favorite. I think the Seminoles' D will shut down Miami and tighten the noose on Larry Coker's coaching tenure.
My prediction: Florida St 17, Miami 13.

Given my track record, that means one thing for you- bet the house on Miami!