Monday, August 28, 2006

Adios Mi Ivon

Tonight's Nightcap is brought to you by NyQuil. Not because I'm sick, but because I just can't fall asleep...

This weekend, Japan shutout Mexico to advance to the finals of the Little League world series. This was a very disappointing outcome for males 12 and up, as it most likely signals the end of Ivon Gaete as an on the field reporter. For those that didn't watch the LLWS this weekend, Gaete would conduct interviews with beaming pubescent Mexican boys while wearing a tight little sweater and then translate it for the rest of the crew with the enthusiasm and overacting that's unique to Spanish language television. It truly was a joy to behold. But now that Japan has sent the distracted Mexico team back home, ESPN will likely send Ms. Guillen back to ESPN Deportes and call up Asian reporter, Tricia Takanawa.
Que lastima...

The first roster cuts in the NFL are this Tuesday, and some teams are ahead of schedule. The Detroit Lions spared Charles Rogers for at least another week, however neither Rogers nor fellow first rounder Mike Williams received any playing time in the latest exhibition game. In Denver, 2001 first round draft pick David Terrell is reportedly on the brink of being cut. Despite being in jeopardy of soon being out of the league, these WRs still have a bright future as Drew Henson has invited them to be on his flag football team which according to him will be "kick-ass"...

Dallas Mavs guard Jerry Stackhouse recently paid to have his pastor mother's church refurbished. The North Carolina church will be run by Minnie Stackhouse, and will serve people in need in the community of Kinston.
"I don't know what the future here will be," Minnie said. "But God does."
Well, except for the Mavs winning a championship. Nobody knows when that might happen...

The Dallas Cowboys fined Terrell Owens $9,500 for missing a team meeting. Most reporters are running wild with "Here we go again/I told you so" articles regarding TO's effect on the team. But I'm sure when Parcells was at the wide receivers' meeting and saw that aside from Terry Glenn, the participants were Patrick Crayton, Terrance Copper, Sam Hurd, and Jamaica Rector, he realized that the team needs Owens more than Owens needs the team. And since Parcells wants to make one last run before retiring, I think Parcells and Owens will find a way to coexist once the season starts. If Parcells could ignore Lawrence Taylor's coke binges between games, I'm sure he can handle Owens babying his hamstring until the opener...

The New York Jets have still not made an announcement on who the starting quarterback will be once the regular season begins. When reached for comment, Jets fans asked, "Does it really even matter???"

While the Jets may still be uncertain who will be behind center in September of 2006, they have gone ahead and announced that their starting QB in 2007 will be #1 pick Brady Quinn...

An early candidate for quote of the season comes from an injured player in Cowboys camp, but it's not Terrell Owens. Mike Vanderjagt had this to say when reporters asked him about Parcells' response to an injury that's sidelined him throughout camp: "He doesn't know my groin as well as I do." Thank god for that. It's unknown whether the self declared Greatest Kicker of All Time's latest groin injury is self-inflicted or not...

Maybe it's a good thing Mexico didn't advance to the Finals. My guess is that most of their squad would have bene forced to miss the game with groin pulls too after dreaming about 'taking the field' with Ms. Ivon.

3 Comments:

At Mon Aug 28, 04:02:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Jason said...

Ivon Gaete - as if we needed another reason be be sexually aroused while watching Little League baseball!

As an aside, did you know that if you take her name and spell it phonetically, you get "hay van galleta" which roughly translates into "they went cookie"?

Makes ya think....

 
At Mon Aug 28, 04:20:00 PM PDT , Anonymous insomniac said...

I'm going to assume that you were referring to Little League moms, or the little leaguers' older sisters....or at least Brent Musburger's sexy voice that lets you know that you'll feel safe and warm when he's around.

I like your phonetics better than mine. Mine went like this:

Ee-Vown-Gye-Ety
He-Want-Gaetti

Then I started to think about Brent Musburger seducing Gary Gaetti, and I had to turn off my pc immediately.

 
At Tue Aug 03, 10:49:00 AM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

IVON GAETE MOST SEXIEST SPORTSCASTERS... VOTE!!!!!!!! http://www.cg.com.ve/votaciones/index.php

 

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