Friday, May 04, 2007

Nellie Gives Cuban a Golden Shower

There was a magical performance in California Thursday. A true thing of beauty. It was a vision that even the most loyal fans wouldn't allow themselves to dream because they knew there was no chance of it ever becoming reality. And yet somehow it did.

Stacy Keibler squeezed into a sports bra and participated in a beach volleyball tournament.

Keibler, having parlayed her Dancing With the Stars appearance into a career as a movie premiere attendee, has taken on a new challenge. Luckily for us, it involves wearing minimal clothing, body contortions, and lots of sweating. Keibler chose the Huntington Beach stop on the AVP tour to make her debut. Unfortunately, her underhand serve and limited spiking ability led to a 21-7, 21-11 defeat for her and her partner, Jessie Cooper. The score was respectable enough that Ms. Keibler should be encouraged to continue to pursue this quest. Hopefully, she'll give it another run in two weeks when the AVP goes to Hermosa Beach. I'm sure I could free up some time Thursday to help her with her serve and Brazilian ass slapping technique.


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Oh yeah, there was also a basketball game in California. I almost forgot about that. A few thoughts...

It sure was considerate of Dallas to just quit at the start of the 4th quarter so that basketball fans on the east coast could get some sleep. It was the most anticipated game of the playoffs so far, and tipoff was scheduled for after 10pm est. It's like David Stern called in sick on the day the playoff schedule was set and he asked Bud Selig to fill in for him. On the plus side, it was fun to see Charles Barkley falling asleep on live tv.

After watching Steven Jackson torch the Mavericks, will the other GMs in this copycat league decide that a crazy person is an essential element for a playoff team? Qyntel Woods, Ron Artest, Ricky Davis, and Latrell Sprewell might want to stay by their phone just in case.

Does anyone know what Mark Cuban said to the TNT cameras immediately after the game? I've rewound it on my TIVO a few dozen times and I still can't figure it out.

Congrats, Warriors fans. You've now got the reputation as the best crowd in the NBA, and you've earned it. But for round 2, can you please lose the thundersticks? You're loud enough on your own- you don't need the gimmick. Just remember what you thought about Sacramento fans and their damn cowbells and leave the inflatables at home.

Speaking of the fans, I know she doesn't have the instant notoriety of the F*ck Da Eagles chick in New Orleans, but could someone with Maxim find the identity of the blonde standing courtside in the blue tank top with the F*ck Me eyes and get her a pictorial pronto?

So how does Game 6 affect Baron Davis' reputation as being injury prone? Yes, he left the game early with a hamstring pull, but he also came back with a gritty, game-deciding performance. As one reader emailed me during the game: the announcers wanted to compare this to Willis Reed. But this wasn't Willis Reed. This was Kirk Gibson.

This may be one of the great upsets in NBA history, but Warriors coach Don Nelson is taking everything in stride. In fact, he's spending this victorious night in the same way he spends every other night. By drinking a fifth of gin and then passing out on top of a prostitute who may or may not be a she-male.

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1 Comments:

At Fri May 04, 08:48:00 PM PDT , Blogger Zach Landres-Schnur said...

a fifth of gin and a prostitute sounds real good after looking at those cheerleaders.

 

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