Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm Not the Only One With a Playoff Hangover

You've gotta hand it to the Dallas Cowboys. They obviously are well aware of the curse that comes with being the Super Bowl loser and wanted no part of it. Rather than subject themselves to a miserable 2008 season, Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett masterminded a beautiful tank job to give the team a chance for next year. Very shrewd move...

Meanwhile, the Cowboys might want to look at the fine print on the 4 year, $14 million contract extension that they gave Patrick Crayton before the start of the playoffs. Can they get their bonus money back if Crayton forgets some of the fundamentals of his position, like running routes and catching the ball?

For as much trouble as Terrell Owens is, I think I'd rather have him on my roster than Marvin Harrison. At least Owens looks like he wants to be out on the field. In 15 career playoff games, Harrison has two touchdowns, which both came in the 41-10 route that Indy had over Denver in 2003. That is pathetic, especially considering that Peyton Manning has been his QB for all but one of those games. Yesterday, he looked like the little league player who would rather pick flowers in the outfield than pay attention to the game. Hopefully, he'll do everyone a favor and retire in the offseason.

Even if the Chargers are forced to go with Volek and Michael Turner against the Patriots, they should be safe from breaking the record for worst margin of defeat in AFC Championship game history. For that, they can thank the 1990 Los Angeles Raiders, whose QBs threw 6 ints in a 51-3 loss to the Buffalo Bills. So if Charger fans are looking for any silver lining in the possibility of Volek starting, well, at least he isn't Jay Schroeder. Also, not being on the field will give Philip Rivers more time to yell at New England fans from the sidelines.

If the AFC playoffs have taught us nothing, it's that the best way to insure you'll advance in the playoffs is to load up your team with as many douchebags as possible. Given that trend, maybe the Cowboys should look into signing Chad Johnson in the offseason. Line up "Ocho-Cinco" opposite of "I love me some me" and the Cowboys will be unstoppable in the NFC...

Speaking of unstoppable: All this time, everyone assumed it was Eli Manning that was responsible for the Giants' problems over the past few years. That impression was certainly a mistake. Obviously, it was Tiki Barber that was holding the team back all this time. It's just a shame that CBS has the Super Bowl this year because it would be a great joy to see Tiki Barber have to provide pregame analysis while his former teammates prepared to play in the Super Bowl.

Of course for that to happen, the Giants will have to get past the Packers in Green Bay first. Not an easy task, but one that I think they're up to. They proved in Buffalo a few weeks ago that their running game could excel in the snow. Besides, it seems like a close NFC Championship game loss for the Packers would be the perfect scenario to convince Brett Favre that he wants to come back for another season or three, since the team would be so close to taking that next step.

A few weeks ago, the rumor was that Tom Coughlin would be fired in the offseason and replaced by Jason Garrett. Now, it looks like the Coughlin era will continue for at least another season, and Garrett's star is fading faster than the one on Romo's helmet. Things are so bad for Garrett that at this point, it's hard to see him even being a candidate to accept and later quit the Falcons job.

Finally, shares of Kimberly-Clark (ticker: KMB) were up a little over 1 percent at the close of trading today. No doubt this spike is in anticipation of the heavy demand for Kleenex this weekend, as both Brett Favre and Tom Brady will be featured in a Championship game, and it's expected to get a little messy within a 3 foot radius of any broadcaster or sportswriter with a free hand.

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