Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Detroit Tigers Cameras Are Directed By Zalman King

As noted earlier today at With Leather, Reanen Maxwell, a former scoreboard operator at Comerica Park has filed a lawsuit against the Detroit Tigers because:

"Tigers photographers routinely shot inappropriate "soft core videos" of female fans at baseball games."

The suit sounds dubious as even using the most conservative definition of "soft core," it's hard to believe that such a practice would go unnoticed in this hypersensitive and hyperhorny culture of ours. My initial instinct was to dismiss the claim as being little more than retaliation from a puritanical (and/or fat,old) former employee. But then I remembered that I still had the 9th inning of Justin Verlander's no-hitter on my Tivo, so I figured I'd rewatch it to see if there was any evidence that the claim might have any merit at all. I was shocked by what I discovered.

The first few crowd shots are pretty standard fare. Fans clapping, old men high-fiving...nothing out of the ordinary here. But if you look real closely and don't blink at the wrong time, you'll notice that after Verlander gets the 2nd out of the ninth, a cameraman does seem to focus in on one woman in particular. See for yourself:

Wow. I mean, I didn't even know Comerica had bedroom suites- these modern ballparks sure are something. I can't even show you what happens after Verlander gets the 3rd out. That footage depicts individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Someone should just cut Reanen (Ms. Maxwell, if you're nasty) a check right now.

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At Fri Nov 21, 10:09:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just came across an article about Reanen Maxwell suing Comerica Park for sexual harassment. Reanen and I dated for just over two years and have a 4 year old child together. During our relationship she often talked about getting a big payoff from suing a big company. The plan she discussed with me was to get caught shoplifting by Ann Taylor, then suing them for the wrongful accusation.
I wish I could make this history brief, but can't. During our relationship she supported herself by shoplifting from stores like Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, The Gap, Eddie Bauer, ect. She would then exchange the stolen merchandise for more merchandise, but get more items than she had credit for. She would pay cash for the balance (usually 3 to 5$) then have a receipt that said cash. She would then take back the exchanged merchandise with the receipt that showed a cash payment, and get a cash refund. She would make trips from mall to mall stealing and exchanging, ultimately make thousands of dollars.
It was during this scam that certain retailers would begin to recognize her. Her new plan was to act like a shoplifter but not actually steal anything. When she was wrongfully detained, she would then file a lawsuit, thus getting her payoff.

In my relationship with Reanen, she twice accused me of domestic violence and once accused me of child abuse. All accusations were dismissed as nonsense by judges, but these false accusations cost me thousands of dollars, and time away from my daughter. I fought through the accusations and now have a great relationship with my daughter who I see every other weekend.

If I can be of any assistance in this frivolous lawsuit please contact me.


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