Friday, May 09, 2008

Win A Chance To Do It Big With Joakim Noah. All Day. All Night.

You might not know what he's talkin' about. Starwood might not know what he's talkin' about. But his boys...his boys know.

Those who stay in Westins or Sheratons for business travel, vacations, or illicit affairs (tho if you're in the last category, you're overpaying. Motel 6 works fine for that) are given an opportunity to use their accumulated travel points to bid on "once in a lifetime" events. One of the items up for bid is a private basketball clinic with Joakim Noah. Starwood has the details:

Jump for a rare chance to shoot hoops with Chicago superstar Joakim Noah. Better bring your game, because you and nine friends could hit the court with Joakim for a private basketball clinic. Then put your knowledge and skills to the test with a shoot-around or pickup game following the clinic. We suggest you pick #13 for your team first.

This event would be better if one of your nine friends happened to be Ben Wallace and you got to watch them settle the score with each other. But even if Big Ben isn't your best bud, it's still not a bad prize. Not only do you learn a little bit about basketball, like "it's a lot easier to win when you've got Al Horford in the low block with you," but much like a clinic with coach K, you're not just learning about basketball. You're learning about life. During a day with Joakim you'll be given so much more. Hopefully, it isn't herpes. But perhaps, dancing lessons?

Then if things are really going well, sometime during the game, Joakim might be willing to give you a piggyback ride:

And hey, maybe during the clinic, you can teach Noah how to hit a jumper outside of 12 feet. Accomplish that miraculous feat, and you just might walk out of the clinic as the new head coach of the Chicago Bulls.

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At Fri May 09, 08:12:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

must you bring back that dreaded dance. i hope this will be the last of paying attention to that idiot.

i'll be at the UT-UCLA game. i'll be wearing orange and carrying a fith of Jack Daniels. hope to see you there.


At Fri May 09, 08:17:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

one request. i would like you to find the video where the UT player knocked out about 3 of noah's teath. now that would be entertaining.


At Fri May 09, 08:18:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

found it.

At Fri May 09, 10:31:00 PM PDT , Blogger insomniac said...

Wearing orange and carrying a fifth of Jack? That should narrow it down to about 30,000 people.

I'll keep my eye out for ya.

At Sat May 10, 05:01:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm going to scream "insomniac where are you!!!!" over and over.


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