Monday, November 14, 2005

Breaking story at MNF

I wasn't planning on watching the game at all. I guess I wasn't ready for some football. But then James Woods showed up on my tv and pumped me up with a poem about the gridiron. And before I knew it, I was in fact Ready For Some Football!!!

I'm not sure if anyone was aware of this, but there was a whispered backstory to the Eagles/Cowboys game. Did you know that some wide receiver named Terrell Owens had been suspended from the Eagles team? In case you didn't, the Disney family of networks had you covered. By my count, here was the breakdown of the times Terrell Owens was mentioned by name:

Monday Night Countdown
Stu Scott: 28
Michael Irvin: 9
Tom Jackson: 3
Ron Jaworski: 4
Chris Mortensen: 14
Sal Palantonio: 10
Ed Werder: 10
Total for show: 78

Monday Night Football:
Al Michaels: 12
John Madden: 7
Sam Ryan: 0
James Woods: 3
Total for show: 22
Total for network: 100

Assuming T.O. was watching the game, it's safe to assume he was high-fiving everyone in the building after watching the Eagles' 4th qtr meltdown. His replacement Reggie Brown had at least 4 drops in the game, including one that would have put them in position for the game winning field goal. Donovan McNabb threw the worst INT I had seen since....well since Drew Bledsoe's sky hook earlier in the game. That was vintage Jake Plummer/Aaron Brooks stuff there.

Speaking of which, along with injury reports, it would be helpful for us gamblers if would post information like, "Drew Bledsoe's 2005 deal with the devil ends Monday at 10 pm EST."

The game started off great for Donovan as he was able to get his first rushing TD of the season, upon which he did a tribute to Michael Jackson by moonwalking. Fortunately, he didn't score another TD or he might have continued his MJ tribute by finding a little boy in the front row and turning his pants into a hand puppet.

Rumor central: After Mike McMahon's near game-winning drive, the Miami Dolphins should be offering a first and a third round pick for his services next year.

I was disappointed that the crew in the MNF van opted to only give the viewer subliminal views of the cheerleaders. I was hoping to scout out which two were most likely to be found in a bathroom stall at Kielbasa Adrian's later that night.

Monday Night Karma: Roy Williams, whose tackle of TO was responsible for the "horse collar" rule, was put on the horse trailer for his game winning pick six.

Thanks to Roy's "look what I found" INT, I was able to salvage a break-even monday night of sports betting. The Lakers and Bulls were both spanked on the road, putting me at 5-7-1 on my NBA ATS and Teaser bets. Maybe I should stick to the NFL (3-1-1 this week). But, I never let a silly thing like discipline stop me before. Why start now?


At Tue Nov 15, 08:00:00 PM PST , Blogger Greg said...

Yeah, Eagles totally don't need T.O. to win. Nope, every single columnist in America is right. The Eagles WILL win without T.O. Yup. No problem.

At Tue Nov 15, 11:08:00 PM PST , Blogger insomniac said...

I think Michael Smith said it best. The Eagles could either take a stand against T.O. and lose games, or they could win games and be on their knees for T.O.

At Thu Nov 17, 12:46:00 PM PST , Anonymous jason said...

I made the mistake of having a drinking game during MNF - a shot or eagle rare bourbon for every mention of TO's name....I just woke up an hour ago


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