Sunday, December 18, 2005

Desperation Time for Charger Fans

While every sportswriter is debating whether Indy should play or rest their starters, the entire betting universe will be teasing Indy with Seattle today. It looks like a safe bet to me. Anyone who thinks that the Colts aren't motivated for the perfect record has never watched Peyton Manning play football. The guy waves off the punting unit on 4th down and up 2 touchdowns; of course he wants this record. Still, I'm blindly hoping that the Chargers somehow pull off the upset. Unfortunately, Jammer vs Harrison is an absolute nightmare for the Bolts. Their only chance is for Shawne Merriman to put a late hit on Peyton after his first pass, causing Tony Dungy to hit the panic button and pull all his starters. I'm only half-joking.

Here are my picks for today:

Seattle -7 at Tennessee. Some books have this game at 7.5 or 8. Make sure you get the 7 point spread. I am tired of losing bets to garbage time scores (that means you Jacksonville). There was a time when the Titans were nearly unbeatable at home. But there was also a time when Britney Spears was one of the hottest women on the planet. Things change. It's true that Tennessee has 3 home wins this season, but they're against Baltimore, San Francisco, and Houston. If the Seahawks weren't due for a letdown, the final score on this one would be 55-3. But since they probably will relax a little, I'm expecting something more along the lines of 38-14.

Arizona -2 at Houston. If JJ Arrington actually gains more than 30 yards, then I will start to believe the conspiracy theorists who say the Texans are intentionally tanking their games. But even without a rushing game, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin should rack up plenty of points. If it comes down to a field goal, the choices are Neil Rackers and Kris Brown, which is kind of like needing one final putt to win the PGA championship and the competitors are Tiger Woods and Jean Van De Velde.

Dallas +2 at Washington. The combination of Marion Barber and Julius Jones should wear down the Washington defense. This could be a blowout if Bledsoe doesn't turn the ball over and Roy Williams actually keeps Santana Moss from going deep. But those are two big ifs. Instead, I see this going down to the wire with Dallas pulling it out on a touchdown catch from Jason Witten.

Minnesota +4 vs Pittsburgh. I just wanted to see what it felt like to pick a home team for once. Feels good. It will feel a lot better if Michael Bennett is able to find some running lanes. It just feels like this year the Vikings are a team of Destiny...and Cinnamon...and Candi.
WOOHOO! I just became the last person to cave in and make a sex boat joke!


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