Paging Ron Mexico, White Courtesy Phone

How avid, insane and desperate are NBA groupies? Apparantly, they're so aggressive that even Ira Newbie needs an alias when he travels (his was Eldridge Cleaver).

The Cleveland Plain Dealer details the ordeal that NBA players endure when they're on the road- early morning calls for interviews, crank calls, solicitations from financial planners, etc.- and the countermeasures they take- giving aliases when they check in to hotels.

No surprise, Shaquille O'Neal had the most creative response. His aliases were Donovan Perot and Vladamire Mandingo. Why did he choose these names? Shaq explains:

I used Donovan Perot because I'm fast like Donovan and I'm rich like Ross Perot. (Vladamire Mandingo)- that's a big Russian-African looking dude.

Just classic stuff from Shaq. Tho he could have easily been anonymous just by using John Henry Irons, his character in Steel.

By the way The Insomniac is true to his name and acting on about an hour of sleep right now. Don't expect any great things from this site today. Actually here, that's a good general rule to go by.