Sit On My Lap And I'll Give You a Candy Cane

WELLINGTON, New Zealand — A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus costumes, many of them drunk, rampaged through New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores and assaulting security guards, police said Sunday.

Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was designed to protest the commercialization of Christmas.

It may seem like this is just a group of drunks trying to justify hooligan behavior, but considering that option B was to dress up some midgets as elves and sodomize them with a nutcracker, this is a peaceful demonstration by comparison.

(Yes, I'm aware this is my 2nd sodomy joke of the last few days. Yes, I'm aware that I need help. No, I do not intend to seek it.)