The Nightcap

Tonight's Nightcap is being brought to you by Coors Light. We'll save a cold one for you, coach.

I'll always remember Bill Walsh for his class, his intellect, and for making me cry as a little kid when his Niners beat my team on the way to the Super Bowl. That was the one and only time I cried over a NFL game- at least one that I didn't have money on...

Even in his final day, Bill Walsh showed that he was able to get things out of players that other people just couldn't do. Why today, to honor his coach, Joe Montana actually made an appearance on television without requesting an exorbitant sum of cash for his time...

Now the hopes of the franchise lie with Frank Gore, who shrewdly broke his hand in camp Monday in order to protect himself from blowing out a knee before the season begins. That was a veteran move...

Another veteran move reportedly being made today is the departure of Kevin Garnett from Minnesota to Boston in exchange for everything on the Celtics roster not named Allen or Pierce and a few draft picks. I'm uncertain of the long-term ramifications of the deal, but the immediate fall-out of the trade will be a never ending barrage of orgasmic columns from Bill Simmons. This should be fun...

In a mangled analogy, Simmons writes the Celtics moves were "like watching the World Series of Poker and seeing someone say "screw it!" by going all-in with a jack-nine of spades after a flop yielded two more spades. Is it smart to risk everything on the 25-percent chance that you'll get the flush?" I don't know if that cleared up anything for me on the mindset of the Celtics, but it did provide more evidence that Simmons isn't the expert poker player he imagines himself to be. As most poker players can tell you, the odds of hitting the flush in that situation are roughly 35 percent, which in the poker world is oftentimes a huge difference. And he wonders why he was knocked out of at least one World Series of Poker on day 1...

Everyone loves an NBA conspiracy theory, so I'll throw this one out there. The KG trade was orchestrated by David Stern to get people- especially ESPN - to start talking about something other than the Donaghy scandal. In return for the Celtics suddenly having three all-stars on their roster, the commissioner will make certain that the Timberwolves are winners in the 2008 lottery...

Lakers fans cannot be happy about the Celtics becoming a legitimate NBA team again. This is really taking the luster off of those Luke Walton, Derek Fisher, and Chris Mihm signings that Mitch Kupchak masterminded in the offseason...

The Twins traded Luis Castillo to the Mets, which has some people thinking that this means the Twins are now sellers and Torii Hunter is available. That's just not the case. Hearing that Castillo has been traded and concluding that the Twins are starting a firesale would be like seeing a VCR on sale at Best Buy and concluding that they're going out of business. It's just a case of an organization getting rid of some obsolete merchandise...

Finally, in a long, painful turn of events, Daunte Culpepper has announced that he was not able to come to an agreement with any NFL teams this year. Instead, he is looking to sign with the Oakland Raiders.