Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Ice, Ice, Baby


I spent my Monday night watching ice dancing. There, I admitted it. Granted, my only motivation for doing so was to ogle Canadian-American Tanith Belbin (estimated date of Playboy pictorial: 2011), but still I felt a little bit, well, out of my element while watching it. In fact, I could be watching a skating Tanith Belbin wrap her ankles behind her ears while having sex with Swedish sisters and eating a steak sandwich, and the whole thing would still be a little gay. Um, not that there's anything wrong with that. But dammit, Belbin's legs and arse are such a sight to behold that I'm willing to face whatever stigma comes my way for watching ice dancing if it gives me another glimpse of Tanith in tights. Besides, she skated the shit out of that muthafucka! Nope, still gay...

The Vixens On Ice tour continues tomorrow as Sasha Cohen makes her 2006 debut. Not only will I be watching figure skating two nights in a row, I'm going to be tivo-ing that bad boy. Judge me all you want, I don't care...

I could buy a copy of the DVD, "Johnny Weir: Flames on Ice," put it on a continual loop, and I'd still have my manhood more intact than the Syracuse University student body. After the Orangemen beat a struggling West Virginia team 60-58 in a sloppy game, the SU students rushed the court. There is a certain protocol for rushing the court. If the game clinches a conference title or your team wins on a 50 foot heave, you can rush the court. If you're a mid-major or perennial cellar dwellar and you've just beaten the #1 team in the nation, then storm away. But when your school is just a few years removed from a national title and you beat the mighty Mountaineers of West Virginia to possibly sneak into the NCAA tourney, act like you've been there before. Act like you expected to win the game. Say what you will about Duke, but I'm willing to bet that the Cameron Crazies have never rushed the court after beating Florida State in the middle of the season...

However the Orangekids running onto the court was not the stupidest move of the day. That honor would go to the LA Clippers, who just signed gold medal winner Vin Baker to a contract. Vinny, who was last seen sampling the wine menu for his Connecticut Fish House, will now be asked to provide some meat for the Clippers front line. My guess is the closest he'll ever get to a double-double is at In-and-Out...tho he can be counted on to drop a few forties from time to time.

3 Comments:

At Wed Feb 22, 12:13:00 AM PST , Blogger Zach Landres-Schnur said...

last time i danced on the "W" was when the dawgs beat Stanford. Oh right, they were #1 and undefeated at the time.

nicely said, insomniac.

 
At Sun Aug 06, 10:35:00 AM PDT , Anonymous R1cAAKSu4e said...

2uGByK3ybL eBACjEZncDW 3R7fcMoGSf3

 
At Mon Aug 07, 10:43:00 AM PDT , Anonymous 9Q7EzK1KCh said...

REd0SMxN7w Ch0A3jMI1yX90 BHo29Uynh1v

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home