Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It Doesn't All Stay in Vegas

I'm back from my trip to Vegas and am now in the final stages of detox from 72 hours of drinking, gambling, and other miscellaneous nefarious activities. Like every other time that I've spent a few days in Vegas, the most difficult part is the culture shock of returning to normal society. Now anytime I drive past a hotel, I have the impulse to go in and check out the blackjack tables and cocktail waitresses. It's also really difficult to watch sports with only one tv in the room. I think I'm going to need to visit Best Buy and rectify that situation immediately. At least living in Southern California, all the women already dress like whores, so that part of the return has been seamless.

The weekend has been a bit of a blur, but there are a few things that I learned that might be of some value to the reader:

-Just because the drinks are free, that doesn't mean it's a good idea to drink Red Bull all night long. After seven hours of that, I could feel every internal organ tremoring and plotting to leap from my body if I didn't switch my choice of beverage. You know you're making bad decisions when Jack Daniels on the rocks is the safer alternative.

-Lebron James will not stop to take pictures with kids, however Carmelo Anthony is more than accomodating. I guess we can all be witnesses, we just can't photograph our encounter with King James.

-UFC fighter Tito Ortiz doesn't look nearly as intimidating in person (I saw him at Palms, I didn't go to the fight) as I would have expected. But please don't tell him I said that.

-There are two groups of people who begin to take notice if you're fortunate enough to color in some $500 chips- floor managers and hookers. Both of them will act like they're interested in giving you something for free, even tho they're actually scheming for a big payday.

-Best looking hookers this weekend were found at: 1. Palms 2. Hard Rock 3. Mandalay Bay (note- I didn't visit Wynn, Venetian, or Caesar's this trip and so were ineligible for the list.)

-The casinos are making it harder and harder to find a blackjack table with favorable rules unless you're willing to play at $25 minimum bet tables or higher. That being said, if Bree is dealing at the Hooters Casino, it would be worth dropping a hundred bucks playing 3 Card Monte for the pleasure of sitting at her table for an hour.

-This last tidbit I can only reveal in code because some of my readers are in the circle of people that can't know about this, but hopefully, you'll catch on. You know how every stripper will tell you that she's a student? Well, there's a hot, young dancer at the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas who, based upon her preferences during a very private dance, I can only assume attends Wichita State. For the record, I only acquired this information "second hand."

Now the only info I need to figure out is when I can go back.


At Wed Oct 18, 01:22:00 PM PDT , Anonymous NFL Adam said...

Who is this Bree? I found the Hooters to be a decent hotel. The VP payouts kind of suck, but they are like the strip. I think, hope actually, that they need to start adding some value gaming to get people into their hotel.

Downtown still has some of the best games. There you have to jump up to a $10 table. But it still seems worth it.

At Wed Oct 18, 02:16:00 PM PDT , Anonymous insomniac said...

Bree is one of the Hooters girls they have dealing. She's easily recognized by her rack that's pushed up to her chin and her habit of shaking her hips back and forth while she deals. The downside is that the Hooters girls tables only pay 6 to 5 on blackjack and don't offer double-down after split. But it was worth giving the house an extra 4% edge or so to watch her shake what she's got. As for the other Hooters' dealers, I found them to be a mixed bag ranging from "reasonably hot" to "needs work." I do regret not checking out the Playboy Club in Palms, as I've now been told the employees there are smokin' hot, but they wanted $40 cover which I thought was a bit steep, considering I can go to Rhino for half that.

The original plan for me was to go downtown for blackjack, but we decided to check out the scene at Hard Rock friday night first. We were able to find a double deck $25 table w/ good rules, and fortunately, 2 of us caught fire right away, so we ended up spending the night gambling there.

Man, I am itching to go back too.

At Wed Oct 18, 08:12:00 PM PDT , Anonymous mathesond said...

I am shocked at the story about the Spearmint Lounge

At Thu Oct 19, 02:48:00 PM PDT , Anonymous NFL Adam said...

We go out for the Super Bowl every year. You should join us out there. It's an annual event.

At Thu Oct 19, 02:49:00 PM PDT , Anonymous NFL Adam said...

We have an annual Super Bowl trip. You should be a part of it. (Sorry if this double posts. I always have trouble posting here.)

At Thu Oct 19, 03:20:00 PM PDT , Anonymous insomniac said...

Yeah Adam, I don't what the deal is w/ the comments here. Usually if you hit refresh after posting, it works out, but not always. It seems like the only people who have no problem leaving them is spammers. A redesign is probably in order, but that's going to have to wait awhile.

I'll definitely keep Super Bowl weekend in mind. It's always crazy watching the SB in Vegas b/c with all of the proposition bets, there are people in the sportsbooks going nuts after every single play.

And yeah, mathesond, the activities at the Spearmint Rhino were indeed quite a shocker.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home