Hassan Adams is a Lousy Designated Driver

I just returned from a quick vacation in Santa Barbara where this weekend's MVPs were Liam, the bartender who in his infinite wisdom substituted the tonic water with extra vodka in my vodka tonics, and Mallory, the UCSB student who refused to wear any more than an extra small tank top to the bar despite the unseasonably cold night.

I didn't catch much of this weekend's sports, but I assumed that any decent team would be able to take care of business on its home court on senior day. Well, any decent team other than Duke, Arizona, Stanford, Syracuse, Kentucky, Michigan, or Michigan State. I did hit up a sports bar for a lil' while Saturday while the Duke/UNC game was on the ESPN family of networks. This bar had ESPNX tuned in, which showed the entire game from the Dick Vitale masturbation cam. It was a bit shaky at first, but once JJ Redick went cold, it remained relatively still...

Speaking of guys in need of a lift, Arizona's Hassan Adams was arrested Sunday for suspicion of DUI. I believe what made officers suspicious was his speeding, followed by him acting like a drunken fool, and then blowing a .124 on the breathalizer. Lute Olsen has refused to comment until he figures out how to spin this to the NCAA Selection Committee...

Syracuse virtually put a lock on its NIT bid with a loss to Villanova in their last game of the regular season. The day started with Syracuse honoring Gerry McNamara as one of the all-time greats at the University. Somehow, upstate New York has confused being solid but not actually good enough to make the leap to the NBA (like Carmelo Anthony and Hakim Warrick did) with being great. I also thought great players led their teams to big wins in crunch time, but I guess I was mistaken on that one too...

In football news, Shaun Alexander and the Seattle Seahawks have agreed in principal on a 8 year, $62 million contract, a quarter of which is guaranteed money. Unfortunately, Alexander was not able to sign the contract as the sound from his fax machine gave him a concussion and will force him to sit out a few days...

Chad Pennington agreed to restructure his contract with the Jets after he realized that no other team was going to give him a contract. He will get $3 million in salary for 2006, plus up to $6 million if he goes the entire season without his arm falling off. In other words, he'll get $3 million next season...

The NFL gave themselves another 72 hours to work out their collective bargaining agreement. If they really want to work out a deal, they should sit at Liam's bar for a few hours. I guarantee that after a few rounds of his lethal concoctions, everyone will be agreeable to pretty much anything...