Monday, February 27, 2006

Cleaning Up the Weekend Mess


I can't even focus right now. I hired a housekeeper because the Lounge is in serious danger of being closed down for health code violations. She just showed up at the door and she is CUTE. Ya know, you grow up watching Cinemax movies and "We Got it Made" and you dream about one day having a hot maid, but you never truly believe it. Then one day you open the door, and a stacked, young Polish girl appears with a smile and a mop. Moments like these restore my faith in the world.

So you'll have to excuse me if I'm a bit distracted while recapping yesterday's sports action. I'm really just doing this so that I have an excuse to be in this room. Thank you for collaborating with me in this ploy, although I can't promise that anything that follows will be worth reading (of course that hasn't stopped any of my readers before).

Indiana finished out their home season by beating Michigan State on senior night and put themselves into bubble territory. Unfortunately, no students rushed the court, as I had the Tivo record button ready just in case Mike Davis assaulted one of the Hoosier "faithful" who helped orchestrate his dismissal. In another upset, Alabama beat the Florida Gators, who have now joined UCLA, West Virginia, and Oklahoma as ranked teams that can absolutley kill your NCAA brackets if you advance them to far with your picks. In both the Indiana and Alabama upsets, the home crowd taunted the losing team with the chant of "over-rated." This is a familiar chant to any college basketball fan, but it's one that I've always had issues with. I know that after beating a ranked team, there's the desire to taunt the opposition, and I have no problem with that at all. In fact, I embrace it. But to me the "Over-rated" chant doesn't send the message that "We just whipped you. We're a bunch of B.A.M.F.s." Instead when I hear "overrated," it's like the crowd is saying, "You guys can't be that good of a team if WE just beat you." It's an indictment on the home team sucking as much as it is the visitor. Unfortunately a cheer of "You-Might-Be-Ballers-But-We'll-Still-Beat-You-Down" doesn't fit as easily into a rhythmic clap. So until there's a suitable replacement, I'll just try to accept "over-rated" as its equivalent...

As opposed to the inconsistent Florida Gators, Lorenzo Romar's Washington Huskies appear to be peaking at just the right time. They had two major statement games in beating down Stanford and Cal over the weekend and now look poised to do some damage in March. The Huskies may not have the complete roster that they did last year, but they have one thing that every team needs to advance deep into the tournament- a money player who can carry his team. Anytime Washington needs a bucket, they can count on Brandon Roy to deliver. Even when he's having a cold shooting night, Roy's got the ability to get to the free throw line and get his points that way. I really thought Washington would struggle against teams with good big men, but the way they handled Cal impressed me. Although, I must be willing to concede that the Bears are one of those teams that look a lot better on paper than on a basketball court. When they're on the court, an "over-rated" chant would be quite appropriate...

Stanford may have won this weekend, but there's zero chance they're getting a NCAA bid, as any committee members watching the game would have fallen asleep long before the 39-37 score was made final...

In the ESPN studio, Steve Lavin was breaking down different teams' chances to get into the tournament and then advance into the Sweet 16 once they were there. The host of the show (I forget which ESPN talking head was hosting) asked Steve Lavin how he did on day two of the NCAAs. "Five and Oh," Lavin replied. "But what's that get you? The pink slip!" Of course he failed to mention that in many of those Sweet 16 years, he was coaching Final Four talent...

I watched a little bit of the combine while playing some Texas Hold 'em at Party Poker yesterday. Just another wild Sunday night at the Lounge. I hope most of you had something better to do last night (even if it was to count the number of times Jerry Rice mentioned the Super Bowl while begging for attention on "Dancing With the Stars"), than watch the combine; so allow me to recap the action for you:
-If the NFL Network's Mike Mayock has anything to say about it, Jay Cutler will be the next Brett Favre. Not that he'll necessarily throw for 30,000 yards and get a Super Bowl ring, but that he will be excused by the lovestruck media for any mistake he ever makes. The guy hasn't completed an NFL pass and Mayock already has a giant stiffy for him. At the combine, Cutler would repeatedly overthrow his receiver, and each time Mayock would say something along the lines of, "Look at that cannon of an arm. That ball gets to you in a hurry. I love this kid." Now all I need is to see Cutler flip an underhanded pass from five yards beyond the line of scrimmage because "he just wants to win and never gives up on a play" and I'll be convinced that he's the second coming of #4.

-The guy that looked best in a tank top and a pair of shorts was Florida receiver Chad Jackson. He is chiseled like a younger version of Terrell Owens, although I doubt that Jackson has a statue of his own torso in his foyet. Unlike T.O., Jackson should be getting a nice signing bonus this season. No reports on if his workout regiment includes crunches on his driveway...

-Marcus Vick had two false starts before finally running a clean 40 yard dash on his third attempt. Even when all he's asked to do is run in a straight line, Vick still finds a way to cheat!

-Butch Davis was in studio with Rich Eisen and the entire time had a look on his face which said, "How did it all come to this? Isn't somebody going to hire me to coach?" Maybe he and Steve Lavin can get together for happy hour each week at Maloney's in Westwood, throw back a few beers, and laugh when the Bruins get knocked out of the tourney and Cleveland loses a game in which they're outcoached by Brian freaking Billick...

I'd recap some more, but I think the housekeeper just stole something off of the nightstand. Oh well, I probably wasn't going to need it anyway...

3 Comments:

At Mon Feb 27, 03:02:00 PM PST , Blogger Zach Landres-Schnur said...

as for the hot maid, well, you have me longing for cinemax -- all i have is this hbo bullshit where the closest thing to late-night jerk off material is the fucking sapronos.


and for the overrated cheer...i couldn't agree more. after you beat a team and say they're overrated, doesn't it just take something away from your loss? wierd cheer.

 
At Mon Feb 27, 03:47:00 PM PST , Blogger insomniac said...

The worst on HBO is "Real Sex" because you see the title and think, "A show about sex has got to be great." But then you quickly discover that you don't want to see "real" people having sex. Real people are disgusting. You want to see hot actresses having sex.

 
At Mon Aug 07, 10:46:00 AM PDT , Anonymous 8VowtgXuW4 said...

gLUYJBNdUSaJ xiTJsk0luJ5vrN RC5J4ft5Q3u8

 

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