You Are Not a Beautiful and Unique Snowflake

Thanks to T.O. playing football, the Yankees back in first place, and Barbaro eating grass, the Duke lacrosse scandal has been moved to the back pages of the sports section. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't still had an effect on the athletes at Duke. Volleyball player Jenny Shull explains:

"There have been tough moments because it was always, 'Wow, you go to Duke University. They're known for their academics and for their great athletics and for overall excellence.' You were looked at almost as a perfect school, and this thing in the media showed us as not 100 percent perfect, and it was kind of rough."

Damn that media. Actually having the nerve to suggest that Duke isn't 100% perfect. That's unprecedented, and yeah, I guess it would be rough. Fortunately, Coach K, Grant Hill, and other members of the Duke athletic community were there to help. The athletic department held a rally in Cameron Indoor Stadium yesterday to help unite the athletes and remind them what Duke University is all about. Coach K was the keynote speaker and later told reporters that, "Tonight was about saying to the rest of the student-athletes, 'Hey, y'all are good. Have a great year. Let's keep pursuing excellence."

Well said, coach. And I think it was a damn fine choice of words over what you probably really wanted to say, which was, "If one of you kids that plays a peripheral sport that noone gives a damn about f*cks up my chance to sign a rich, white kid with a nice jumper, it will be your ass!" Better to just reinforce the mindset that they are perfect because they go to Duke. That will arm them for life.