Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Chips, Quips, and Hips


I was planning on writing this entry while simultaneously playing in a NL Hold 'Em tournament over at Full Tilt. But I doubled up on just the second hand of the tourney, and things got interesting real quick. So I had to actually focus on the game for a few hours rather than espouse wit and wisdom for my dedicated handful of readers. The good news is that I made the final table and won enough to pay my server fees for the year (assuming I don't blow it in a ring game). The bad news is that now I'm too tired to give the 3000 word, pulitzer prize winning analysis of the day that I had intended. Maybe I'll just follow the lead of San Francisco Chronicle writers and just hold all the good stuff for my book...

The Bonds' revelations in Sports Illustrated can only elicit a few reactions. The first is "duh." The second is, "Why was he jealous of McGwire? He should have been jealous of Raffy Palmeiro getting free Viagra." After that, people tend to fall in two camps. There are those that believe that Bonds is a liar and a jerk, and he deserves to have his reputation torn apart in the same way that his body will be in the next few years. The second accepts that he shot up, took some drops, and got his cream on, but thinks he was still one of the best hitters in the game regardless and should still be honored as such. Those people are called Giants' fans. I do tend to agree that Bonds should be remembered as one of the best hitters of the last ten years, since it's beginning to look like Canseco and Caminiti were accurate in their assessment of the prevalance of steroid use in the last decade; so relative to his era, Bonds was in effect performing on a level, juiced playing field. However his legacy as it relates to the history of the game has been forever tarnished, and no amount of cross-dressing will distract people from that reality...

Well, it might be enough to distract the good people at ESPN, as they have officially lost their touch with reality. Tonight's Sportscenter has focused on the Cubs' chances of winning the World Series (neither the words "snowball" nor "hell" were mentioned); while in their college basketball coverage, Digger Phelps has made Notre Dame his sleeper team in the Big East tournament. Digger's pro-Irish bias has evolved from amusing to farcical to downright sad. On the bright side, Karl Ravetch is this close to a breakdown, leading to him grabbing Digger's highlighters and shoving them where the neon green don't shine. So there's that to look forward to...

Unfortunately I didn't have the Tivo rolling, but I think a few Oral Roberts benchwarmers may have been trampled to death tonight. When the clock hit 0.0 to give Oral Roberts the Mid-Continent Conference title and a birth into the NCAA's, the bench reacted by running onto the court and then diving on the midcourt stripe. What they failed to anticipate was the fact that the ORU student body would also be storming the court. What was supposed to be a mildly homoerotic dogpile of celebration (not that there's anything wrong with that...unless you happen to go to a "charismatic university founded in the fires of evangelism") quickly turned into the Running of the Bulls. For the sake of the survival of their remaining players, I hope that Oral Roberts is one and done in the bigger tournament...

A team with some more experience with reacting to clinching a bid to the Dance is the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Last year, they made it all the way to the sweet 16, and they look dangerous enough to make a similar push this season. Hopefully the Selection Committee will have some sense of recent history and pair them with Tennessee in a #4 vs #13 matchup...

Lost in the shuffle of March Madness is the Big Dance Bracket at NBA.com where fans and general perverts have the opportunity to vote for the hottest NBA dance squad in the league. So far, only two competitions have been voted on, with Houston beating Denver and Miami crushing Charlotte. The inevitable final matchup will be the Heat vs the Lakers, although I'm partial to the Honeybees of New Orleans/Oklahoma City; and the Sonics are poised to do some damage by including swimsuit photos in their gallery. I think a full scouting report on this tournament is in order. My readers deserve as much. I won't let you down...

1 Comments:

At Wed Mar 08, 11:44:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can always count on you for hot chicks!!!

 

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