Jeff Fisher- You Coulda Been A Bum, Instead Of A Fallen Contender, Which Is What You Are

I want to write a recap of Sunday's NFL action. I truly do. But my brain won't allow me because all of its neurons have been permanently stained by this image:



Really, coach? Your team is 0-2 with its season on the line, and that's what you roll out to the sidelines with? That's the look of a leader that's going to direct his team to victory? That looks like the kind of shirt you'd find in the Slightly Defective section of a Wal-Mart...in Tijuana. That looks like something my grandad would wear (minus the pants, of course) while sitting in a recliner with a can of Schlitz in his hand. I don't want to run through a wall for that guy. I'm barely able to motivate myself to listen to his stories in hopes that I can make it in his will. I can't remember anything else about the game or the final score, but I know at first glimpse that the guy in that picture most definitely lost.

I understand that it was a throwback day and choices were limited. And yeah, it's a little strange to wear a throwback to remind a city that you stole their team (are the Ravens going to wear Browns uniforms later this season*?). But still, if that's what the league wants you to do, then how about this look:



Now, that's throwback. Dress like that and you can beat anyone. Well, anyone but the Steelers.


(Jeff Fisher photo credit: Bill Kostroun/AP via espn.com)

(*joke credit: Adam Rank)

College Roundup: Big Upsets Are The Talk Of The Town

While many people count unpredictability as one of college football's most appealing traits, there are some things that you can rely upon as certainties each season. As sure as the leaves changing colors and Brent Musberger referencing point spreads, you can depend on an overhyped Cal Bears team to collapse as soon as they're placed in a showcase game. They are the Pac-10's version of the Clemson Tigers- a team that is perenially listed among the 'sleepers' that are ready for a breakout season and is given a boost by those same writers into the AP top 10. And yet, just as soon as their fans start thinking that maybe this year will be different than other years, the team falls apart in epic fashion. This year, it was the Oregon Ducks that had the honors, demolishing Cal, 42-3, in a game that the Bears had given up on by halftime. Now, their exposure as a fraud will somehow be used to indict the entire Pac-10 as being overrated, even tho it was another Pac-10 team that took Cal down. Ahhh, such are the joys of investing so much emotion in a sport that determines its champion via popularity contest.

Cal wasn't the only highly ranked team to go down in defeat this weekend. College fans around the country once again owe Iowa a huge debt of gratitude for sparing a weary nation from a Penn State appearance in a National Championship game. Hopefully, we can go another year without having to watch a Big 10 team roll over in a BCS title game. Unfortunately, fans can't rest too easily just yet, as so many top 10 teams already have a "1" in the loss column that a team that lost early, Ohio State, could sneak back into things.

Another one loss team whose BCS dreams have been revitalized is the Notre Dame Fighting Holtzes, who rallied to beat Purdue in a rare game in which Charlie Weis wasn't the worst coach in the stadium. That honor went to Purdue head man Danny Hope who upon seeing a frenzied Notre Dame scurrying to the line to spike the ball, opted to call a timeout to save their opponent a down and give them an opportunity to draw up two plays to win the game. When Notre Dame is cashing their BCS check for 17 mil, they should be sure to send something nice over to West Lafayette.

Miami went into Blacksburg and showed that they aren't quite back to being "Tha U" just yet. But it wasn't really much of a shocker, because I don't think people really expected them to return to elite status in one year. This kind of thing is a process. To put it in terms that Miami fans will understand: it's like when your players are runnin' trains on coeds. At first, maybe they can snag a coed in a quad somewhere. Start playing better, and they might just get one will go into the lobby with you. That's about where they're at right now. But they'll get to that 7th floor. Just give them time.

Elsewhere in the state of Florida, Gator fans briefly feared the worst when football Messiah, Tim Tebow, was laying motionless on the turf after receiving a blow to the back of his head at the end of a vicious sack. Tebow now finds himself in a hospital bed, but football announcers across the country expect him to rise again in three days.

Unranked Pac-10 Teams Are A Bunch Of Inglourious Basterds

The Hitler parodies from the movie "Downfall" are certainly played out.

USC losing to an unranked Pac-10 team each season has also grown redundant and tiresome.

And yet when the two come together, it's evident that they're a perfect match for each other.



(H/T: Bruins Nation)

so, let's see...I don't update the site for six months and then my first post back features Adolf Hitler- and one in which Hitler's rant makes sense, at that. Yeah, this return is going to be a roaring success.

The UCLA Dance-A-Thon Continues. But Just Barely

Every time that UCLA advances a round, I will post a set of unpublished photos of the UCLA Dance and/or Cheer teams. Hopefully, this will give undecided fans a reason to root for the Bruins.

This was almost the shortest recurring feature of all time. But fortunately, UCLA managed to pull out a one point victory over VCU and will advance to the 2nd round. So with that, I send this offering to the gods of basketball karma: