Yet Another Reason To Root For a Perfect Season

I really can't think of a good reason to watch the Dolphins/Steelers game, but at least now it's worthwhile to check the final score on the espnews ticker sometime tonight. A morning radio show in Miami has been motivating the Dolphins with the oldest inspiration in the world: stripping. With each loss, the cast members have removed a piece of clothing. Now that Miami's streak has reached 10 games, the participants are beginning to look a little bit chilly.

While Don Shula and Mercury Morris's air of superiority was already enough to make me cheer for an 0-16 season, this doesn't hurt either. Sure, the station will probably just cover the final bits and pieces with "Power 96" logos...but this is Miami, and that chick in the middle looks like this isn't her first time stripping for leering eyes, so maybe there's hope aferall.

Update: It looks like Power96 ended the challenge with some lame "naked" baby pics. A lame radio morning show gimmick? I'm as shocked as you are.

Sometimes It's Business and Personal

College football has changed quite a bit over the years. This wishbone has been replaced by the spread offense. Nebraska and Miami have been replaced as powerhouses by Missouri and West Virginia. Notre Dame coaches went from winning national championships to winning pie eating contests. But one thing that will always be a fundamental part of the game at any level is that at no time will 'Giving an Opponent the Business' be tolerated (38 second mark):



For a historical perspective, the rule was first invoked in what looks like the late 80's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMBNH98jmK0

Notes From the Hardwood- College Edition

Considering that for the first 20 minutes of the game, the only ones looking good in a UCLA jersey were the cheerleaders, this was a very gritty win for the Bruins. Now I have to get tickets for UCLA's next home game so I can watch them hang that O'Reilly Auto Parts CBE Classic Championship banner in the rafters of Pauley Pavilion.

Dick Vitale was struck with laryngitis this week. He apologized to the viewers for it, but in my opinion, it was the best broadcasting of his career.

It's a very weird phenomenon to hear Dick Vitale on the UCLA bandwagon. I guess all the Bruins needed was a white big man to make then more UNC/Duke-like to win Vitale's favor.

Kevin Love looks like he'll be a great college player, but it's very difficult to project him into the NBA. One thing is for certain. Whenever Love does submit his name for the NBA draft, he'll be the first player that Jay Bilas won't be able to describe him as "long." Has anyone described an NBA prospect as "stumpy" before?

Bad news for Bruins fans- it looks like Florida is still good, even though their roster is comprised almost entirely of freshmen and sophomores. Crap.

The Wooden Classic got a nice little boost when it's dog of an undercard, SDSU vs The Australian National Team (also known as St. Mary's), suddenly got a bit of cache once the Gaels upset #11 Oregon. It was a little tough to tell on ESPNU's handheld camcorder feed, but as an added bonus, it looked like St. Mary's had some attractive cheerleaders as well. Catholic Schoolgirl Cheerleaders- they're not just on the Spice Channel anymore.

Not a good week to be an Oregon Ducks fan. First they lose Dennis Dixon and their BCS hopes and now they find out that their basketball team isn't as good as they thought they were. On the plus side, these defeats should be categorized as "severe pain," one of the conditions which in the state of Oregon warrant the legal use of medical marijuana. Rosie Perez was right. Sometimes when you lose, you actually win.

Duke looks like they're back this season, thanks to a good freshman class and improved play from Gerald Henderson. I sure hope ESPN will give them some exposure now.

There will be quite a bit of basketball on TV during the Thanksgiving holiday. The matchups might not seem that intriguing right now, but it still beats explaining to relatives why you don't have a job, girlfriend, or legitimate children. So enjoy, all!

Pauley Pavilion Picture Pages

While at Pauley Pavilion, I did manage to pull the camera away from Steve Lavin's chiseled mug to snap a few other pics. I didn't really want to take any photos of cheerleaders, but I did it for you, my readers. You pervs. I hope you're happy.

Caption Contest

Last night, I went to Pauley Pavilion to see UCLA take on the mighty Coyotes of Cal State San Bernardino. While there, I was struck by the juxtaposition of seeing Ben Howland and John Wooden on one sideline and Steve Lavin on the other. I snapped this pic while Lavin was espousing his wisdom to an ESPN colleague:




This pic is in need of a caption. A few suggestions:

"Steve Lavin impresses the ladies by showing off his championship rings."

"Lavin's tongue is purely cosmetic, as he does all of his talking out of his ass."

"Sayeth the Lizard: 'And this was the signal I used to tell the team to just run around like it was a pickup game and you were all meeting for the first time.' "

Your suggestions?

Clipper Girl Recreates My Vision for the WNBA

I'll get to football later today, but it's pretty rare for anything noteworthy to happen at a Clippers game, so this gets priority. Besides, it's much easier to embed a video than to think of actual words to type.



A tip of the cap to Bethlehem Shoals at the Fanhouse who first posted this and writes, "This makes me think that we're really shortchanging these ladies when we make them into sex objects."

I agree. Rather than just admire the way a cheerleader looks in a short skirt, we should also appreciate some of this woman's other finer qualities, such as her flexibility and her undeniable skills with a ball in her hand. Also, how about the team attitude demonstrated by the rest of the squad? All of that hugging and jumping and together. Oh how I love the jumping and the hugging.

We really are shortchanging these girls. In fact, I'd say anything less than a row of singles laid out on a rail is just disrespectful.

Honoring Our Veterans

Alright, this one isn't sports-related, but after "Lance Martini" at With Leather pointed me in the direction of the trailer for this movie which pays tribute to the men and women of the armed forces, I just knew I had to share it with as many people as I could.



It's like the Jessica Lynch story, only with more dancing.

If only there were a shower scene, then it would be the greatest military themed movie since "Stripes."

Even On Injured Reserve, Matt Leinart Keeps Taking Hits

Last year, Matt Leinart celebrated his new contract by paying $2.4 million for a six bedroom, six and a half bath, 6,800 square-foot, tuscan style home in an Arizona suburb called Ahwatukee. This week, he sold the house to Phoenix Suns forward and real estate mogul (he owns four homes in Arizona) Amare Stoudemire for $1.9 million, for a tidy loss of $500,000, or roughly a little more than three years of child support payments.

You can now add "Real Estate" to a growing list of subjects for which you would never want to ask Matt Leinart's advice. That list includes:

Birth control
Driver's Ed.
STDs (allegedly)
Parenting
Sportsmanship
Durability
Self-esteem

On the plus side, if you ever need tips on the foxtrot, Matt's your guy.

Notes From the Gridiron

For Notre Dame fans, losing to Navy has to be like finding a gray hair growing from your balls. Despite years of denial, it's indisputable evidence that forces you to finally accept that you no longer are what you used to be...

I suppose things could be worse. You could be like me and root for the one team that actually lost to Notre Dame this year. On the bright side, at least UCLA fans won't have to suffer the embarrassment of watching the Bruins lose to a Mountain West team in a bowl game this year. (Tho they did get that out of the way by losing to Utah in September. Geez, pull the plug on this season already...)

Despite routing Nebraska to remain undefeated, Kansas is still only at #4 (up from #8) in the BCS polls behind one-loss teams LSU and Oregon. Granted, LSU and Oregon may be better teams than the Jayhawks, but what is the point of being in a BCS conference if being one of the last two undefeated BCS teams doesn't entitle you to play in the BCS championship game? Could this finally be the scenario that gets commissioners thinking about an eight team playoff?...

Deja Vu all over again. How about this possible scenario: LSU beats Ohio State in the BCS championship game to win the coaches title, meanwhile in the Orange Bowl Kansas beats either Virginia Tech or West Virginia to finish the season undefeated and take the AP crown. Fortunately for the Bayou Bengals, Kansas doesn't get the same media love that USC does, so the alumni won't need to spend any money on billboards this time around...

Darren McFadden and Adrian Peterson set rushing records this weekend with dominant performances and the future looks bright for both players. The Vikings will be in the playoffs in 2008 under the leadership of Peterson and their new quarterback, Donovan McNabb. Meanwhile, McFadden will perennially be in the Super Bowl hunt when he is drafted #3 overall by the New England Patriots, courtesy of the inept San Francisco 49ers...

The beatdown Philadelphia received at the hands of their nemesis, the Dallas Cowboys, was a clear signal that it's time to rebuild in Philadelphia. Donovan McNabb will be cut at the end of the season, and the Kevin Kolb era will begin. The next few years might be rough for Philly fans, but if they need help coping, Andy Reid knows where you can score something to make you forget about your troubles...

All seven western division teams that played yesterday lost. With the Chiefs, Chargers, and Seahawks all division leaders at 4-4, this might finally be the season that a 7-9 team makes the playoffs. If it happens in the AFC, there's even the possibility that a 7-9 Chargers team could be in the playoffs while a 9-7 or 10-6 Ravens, Titans, Browns, or Jags team stays home. Not that it really matters since a Colts/Patriots AFC Championship game is inevitable...

For all of Norv Turner's faults, the one thing he is supposedly adept at is developing a quarterback. Unfortunately for Chargers fans, Philip Rivers has regressed from last season to this one. He's thrown for fewer yards per attempt this year, almost has as many INTs already this year that he did last season, and his passer rating is ten points lower. Turner is playing the role that Paul Hackett did at USC, and things are setting up nicely for Pete Carroll to step in and look like a savior after this season's debacle. All he needs is to bribe agents to send the best talent his way and it will be SC-level dominance all over again.

Swiss Miss Retires to Florida Snow

Quick word association.

Martina Hingis? Blow.
Gentle breeze? Blow.
Flowing skirt? Blow, dammit, blow!

If Anyone Needs Spare Change, My Pants Are Jingling

I know most people have given up on having Amazon links on their page since it's nearly impossible to make decent cash from it. However, I'm planning on buying some merchandise this weekend, so if there are any readers that have an Amazon link on their site, let me know in the comments, and I'll be sure to click-through your site.

...
On another note, I'm in the hospital with my son today, so unless he takes a nap during his treatment, there probably won't be an update during the day.